With an Attitude of Gratitude

Red Birds

2012-01-12T16:51:00.000+02:00

Red birds galore!

Over the course of my Christmas gifts this year, I have received an influx of red birds to array my flat with. Bless my flat mate, Kristin, because it’s beginning to look like a red bird sanctuary in our living room.

What’s with my red bird fascination? I’m so glad you asked- I am dedicating this blog post to answer just that.

The story how I came to adore red birds, doesn’t actually with my story, but one of my dear friends, Jane. Her story so captivated me, that is has become my story too- for the main reason that it is wrapped up in HIS story- revealing to me His goodness, faithfulness, and intimacy…isn’t that how all of our journeys to recognizing and embracing His love end of being? One of overwhelmed by His grace, humbled by His mercy and lavished with love…but I am getting ahead of myself…

In 2008 my friend, Jane, was experiencing a rather difficult season in her life. One day she was sitting outside on a bench in the beautiful East Texas piney woods, casting her burdens on Jesus because He cares for us (1 Peter 5:7). Through tears she asked the Father, “Do you even see me- my situation, my hopes and fears?” And without skipping a beat, a red cardinal flew on the bench and instantly Jane, in her spirit, knew this red bird was a love message and a gift from above, coming down from the Father of lights (James 1:17). It was a message that He is in fact our El Roi, "the God who sees me” is always there and “a very present help in time of trouble” (Psalm 46:1), first found in Genesis 16:11. From that time forward, any time Jane saw a red bird; it was a vivid reminder that she serves a God that sees her.

I was so moved by that story, that I made it my own and became a raving fan of red birds ever since. Without fail on my way to work, when I lived in Tyler, Texas, I would see red birds as I was mentally preparing my mind for the work-day. Red birds are so bright and colourful that you can’t help but seeing them as you drive down the road. It is my love note from God. God is with us to confront, comfort, protect and deliver. It’s just another way that that points me to my All-Sufficiency (1 Cor. 9:8).

So, now that I speak of my red birds, people have, as of late, lavished me with red bird décor. I get pictures of red birds from red birds in snow, to coffee mugs and cups. These friends see the significance how a little red bird can make my heart sing and rejoice anew to the God I serve.

Added happiness to any cup of coffee or tea!

Share the season...with red birds! :)

Hey there little guy!

Catch miss seeing these birds in a winter wonderland!

Write your blessed Name, O Lord, upon my heart,

there to remain so indelibly engraved,

that no prosperity, no adversity shall ever move me from your love.

Be to me a strong tower of defense, a comforter in tribulation,

a deliverer in distress, a very present help in trouble,

and a guide to heaven through the many temptations and dangers of this life.

Thomas á Kempis

1380-1471

What is your love note that you attribute from God?

2011 in Review

2012-01-07T16:24:00.000+02:00

It is hard to believe that 2011 has come and gone! It was a fast and furious year. It’s crazy to think that I’ve lived in South Africa the WHOLE YEAR of 2011- it truly feels like home to me. Some people on Face Book said that 2011 was the worst/hardest year of their lives. I wouldn’t exactly say that was my situation, though it did prove some challenges and opportunities for growth- some that I jumped to the occasion, some I shrank away in fear; but all the while learning- and for that I am grateful. Here are just a handful of the highlights of the year (in no particular order):

- Trips- going to London and Estonia to meet up with my dear friends in March and November. Laughs, tears, adventures, shooting the wind, depth of conversations that leaves me in a state of contemplation for days upon end. We also walked (and are walking) the path of grief with Abbey and the passing of her dad, as well as celebrating his life. We vowed to pray every day for the precious Hammond family, even after Steve’s death in 2011. I don’t foresee stopping this habit any time soon. GRATEFUL sums up my friendship with these girls.

Frolicking around London

Romping around Estonia

Also had Jenn and Angie come visit me in South Africa and I was so grateful for such a refreshing time with both visits.

We are the same person!

My Angie-girl

The guest house where I spend the majority of my time

- Guesthouse- this was a HUGE under-taking and honestly I have fought (and continue to fight) the enemy’s lies of in adequacy, ability, etc. in accomplishing this feat for 7 months. I still have about 7 weeks to go until my supervisors return. The Lord has proven Himself faithful time and time again. Biggest take-away have been: learning the art of delegation and knowing when to ask for help. My failure to do so is the result of pride. Problem-solving has also been key in coming up with ideas. A lot of the decisions concerning the guest house ended with me- how it should function, in regards to the housekeepers and how to serve our guest most effectively. One thing I am continuing to learn is when to ask for help (ironically) before the melt-down comes. Also, when a lot of tasks need to be accomplished how to balance that with interacting with the guest and serve their needs and hear their stories. To be quite honest, sometimes I chose tasks over guests- not ok. I am grateful for His sanctifying work and for second chances, as well as graciousness on those I was not so gracious with.

- Bible-reading plan- If I had to nail down what was the biggest influence in my spiritual life it would be this reading plan. I took on the challenge of reading at least 10 chapters a day (if not more) and it has blessed me beyond measure. It is also my hope and prayer that it has also blessed those I interact with as I more readily speak the very words of God as it is lodged in my memory on a day to day basis. J. I. Packer said it best: "If I were the devil, one of my first aims would be to stop folk from digging into the Bible." I whole-heartedly agree- cut off the source of life and you have a withered, dead result. I’ve been a raving fan of this reading plan and have told a lot of people about it (and I haven’t yet, I am telling you now!). Some people have their eyes like that of saucers when I tell them 10 chapters in one day, but once they start they too agree that they don’t know how they survived on so little of the Word. It’s not for everyone and it is not an end-all, just a means to the realms of consistency.

Daveyton

- Daveyton- Besides the guest house, this was my main venue of ministry. I mainly taught ESL by going through the gospel of Mark. At the end of this year, I really evaluated if this was the best way to use my time. When I came to the decision that it was not, I am now going to spend the remaining of my time there using “Storying”- a simple, effective and reproducible ev@ng*lism, discipleship and ch*rch-planting strategy utilizing the power of stories in the Bible for oral learners. We are going to use the story set of Creation to Church, which will take up the remainder of the time I have left. To find out more, go here.

Community is a beautiful thing

- New Covenant Baptist Church- finding this fellowship of believers has been sweet indeed for my year of 2011. I wanted to desperately find fellowship of believers outside the company. The result is finding a community that is passionate about the Word, worship & community to the glory of God. I have not only found great teaching from the pastors but also from the members themselves as we “truth” each other. It reminds me of Micaiah said in 1 Kings 22:14 when standing up against Ahab: “As the LORD lives, what the LORD says to me that I will speak.”

So that sums it up and if you have been reading my blog in 2011, then these handful of things are not a surprise to you, since I have blogged about all these things within the year. What will 2012 behold? Not all that sure but clinging to Psalm 22:5 “To You they trusted and were not disappointed…” There are a lot of uncertainty of what I will do after I finish my term and head back to the States, but I am choosing to trust and obey, because I “have been chosen according to the foreknowledge of God the Father, through the sanctifying work of the Spirit, for obedience to Jesus Christ and sprinkling by His blood” (1 Peter 1:2). He is worthy and worth my life.

Going Green

2011-12-23T23:34:00.000+02:00

I don’t think I can get used to having summer in December. Instead of sitting by the fireplace on Christmas, I’ll be sitting by the pool. Instead of heading for the mountains in Colorado and singing “Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow” in the car whilst en route, people in Jo’Burg head for the beaches in Durban whilst singing “ Surfin’ USA” (or maybe not….). The pace of things has slowed down considerably and as close to a ghost town that Jozi will get. I have welcomed the quietness with open arms.

This time of year in South Africa is lush and green. We are at the beginning of summer rains. It typically rains at least once every day through March and almost like clockwork it rains between 4-6pm and then maybe at other times as well. I am grateful for the rain for so many reasons: for the crops, the way that it keeps temperatures cool. Here in Johannesburg, the lightning storms are something else. You know you live in Jo’Burg if it starts raining/thunderstorm and you frantically start unplugging appliances, computers, tv- anything you don’t want to be fried by the ground lightning.

This is downtown Jo'Burg in a thunderstorm- electrifying

With the drought in Texas and most of the southern states this past summer, I know not to take the rain for granted. We depend on the rain for growth, for our livelihood. At the same time, I know too well that my spiritual life needs the daily intake of His rivers of delight (Psalm 36:8). I need to depend on the Word for the outcome I need to cultivate my relationship with the love of the Father, the grace of the Son and the fellowship of the Spirit. To accomplish this feat is to be in the word, in season and out of season in the Word. It’s hard work and I have quite a number of failed attempts, but at the end of the day, I know where my source comes from. It does not come from sheer motivation and determination. No, if any goodness comes out of it, it is from abiding in Him, the fountain of life. Take these verses for example:

“But as for me, I am like a green olive tree in the house of God; I will trust in the loving-kindness of God forever and ever. I will give you thanks forever, because you have done it. And I will wait on Your name, for it is good, in the presence of Your godly ones.” Psalm 52:8-9

Israel countryside

² “But his delight is in the law of the LORD,
And in His law he meditates day and night.
³ He will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water,
Which yields its fruit in its season
And its leaf does not wither;
And in whatever he does, he prospers.” Psalm 1

Purple lovelies- this is what I see outside my office window at the Guest House

“He who trusts in his riches will fall, but the righteous will flourish like the green leaf.” Proverbs 11:28

Quaint English countryside

And what is the eventual outcome I desire when I learn to abide? Amy Carmichael puts it best:

“Keep close. Keep close. If you are close you will be keen. Your heart will be set on the things that abide. You will drink of His spirit and you will thirst for souls even as He thirsts. You will not be attracted by the world that crucified Him, but you will love the people in that world who have never seen His beauty and are losing so much more than they know. You will live to share your joy in Him. Nothing else will count for much.”

I’m going green- by His grace and for His reputation and glory.

A Grateful Thanksgiving

2011-12-12T23:19:00.000+02:00

"Shout joyfully to the LORD, all the earth. Serve the LORD with gladness; Come before Him with joyful singing. Know that the LORD Himself is God; It is He who has made us, and not we ourselves; We are His people and the sheep of His pasture. Enter His gates with thanksgiving, and His courts with praise. Give thanks to Him; bless His name. For the LORD is good; His lovingkindness is everlasting." Psalm 100

I didn't expect to be going anywhere for Thanksgiving. As most of you know, my supervisors have been gone since the end of July. My plan at the beginning (emphasis on "beginning") was to not really give myself a break. That euphoric idea came crashing down with impressive speed at the beginning of October. With only having one day off a week, I was struggling- emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually. And I quickly came to the realization that I would need to get away- like out of Jo'Burg completely- sometime around my half-way point, which conveniently landed around Thanksgiving.
So I began to pre-plan going to either Cape Town or Swaziland. Two places that I have friends in and am determined to see before I leave this country. Then Grace casually asked if I wanted to go to Estonia for Thanksgiving to see Kels. Both Grace and Abbey purchased their tickets the weekend before. My mind started reeling. Could I really do that? I wanted to go out of town, but that was WAY out of town- like on another continent, another hemisphere kind of away. Spontaneity and I don't hang out much together- I'm more of a "planner". But I quickly started asking my supervisor and my co-worker if that would be ok to be gone for a whole week. Without a thought they both said yes and within the next few hours I booked my flight. WOAH. I wouldn't like to live my life in spontaneity, but it was a little fun. ;) The thing that blew my mind was that my 3 friends- Grace, Kels and Abbey- wanted to help pay for my airfare since I was coming the farthest. Do I have the best of friends or what?!?!! They wanted to pay for all of it, but I wouldn't let them. ;)

So starting on the Monday of Thanksgiving week, I start my 48 hr trek to Estonia- I'm way down here and Estonia is way up there. I was cream-crackered (as the Brits would say), but totally worth it and I proved to Grace and Abbey that I can, in fact, sleep just about anywhere.

It was so magical to be all together and to see Kelsey's world. I've heard SO much about it, but to see it and to put faces with names- brings everything into beautiful perspective.

Grateful.

On Thanksgiving Day, we put together a fantastic and delicious Thanksgiving dinner that had the classic dishes: turkey, deviled eggs, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce and more, along with some pumpkin pie.

Cooking in the kitchen

Enjoying the fruits of our labor

The Russians loved, loved, LOVED Thanksgiving- it was a huge success! So much so that as they were leaving, one asked, "When's the next Thanksgiving?" We hated to burst his bubble with the reply "Not until next year." Everyone was so friendly and tried so hard with the little English they knew and absolutely no Russian that I did not know. One thing that I learned, but that I didn't know beforehand is that Russians LOVE to sing. What a wonderful blessing it was to hear them sing praises to the King!

TWO.BABIES!!

Another unforgettable memory is that Abbey found out on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving that she is going to be an aunt- an aunt to TWINS!!! Grace and I went to bed early due to the fact we were cream-crackered from traveling. We woke up to Abbey screaming (ok- I actually didn't because remember that I can sleep through almost anything and I was dead to the world because of my travels- but Grace woke up). Andy, her brother made an amazing video to reveal to Abbey that she is going to be an aunt. It was beyond special to share that moment with her and to celebrate together with her and her family.

Hello Russia!

On Friday we toured one of the castles and learned a lot of history and interesting facts. The picture above is one taken at the top of the tower

This is quaint downtown Tallinn, the Capitol of Estonia

I love my Kels!

After sadly leaving Estonia (and Kels!) on Sunday, Abbey, Grace & I head to London. I had a 36 hour layover and very thankful to break up my travels on the return home.

Found some red birds that I found in a tea shop that I HAD to have. Grateful for the reminder that I serve a God that sees me!

Seven Sisters

Since I was not scheduled to fly out until late Monday evening it gave us the opportunity to go see the Seven Sisters cliffs in Seaford, which is off of the English Channel. Breath-taking view!!

I heart Abbey!!!

Grace and I didn't even know Abbey was taking this picture, but I am so glad that she did, because it is one of my favorites!

Beyond grateful.

Overall, this trip did volumes for me- got me out of town, fellowship with dear friends, got rest and at the same did a lot in being able to see Kelsey's world. SO incredibly grateful to be refreshed so that I could come back and be focused on my task and mission here.

Braai

2011-11-08T21:23:00.000+02:00

Braai (braɪ)

*-vb*
1.	to grill or roast (meat) over open coals

—n
2.	short for braaivleis

[Afrikaans]

South Africans love to braai; so much so that there is a national public holiday on September 24 encouraging everyone to gather around the grill. 18 months ago I had no idea what a "braai" was, but now it is a regular term and an event that I regularly attend. One of my friends wrote on her facebook wall on September 24 that it was national braai day and someone replied- “In South Africa, isn’t every day Braai day?” Touché. South Africans are emphatic about using a charcoal grill- gas grills are for sissies. And South Africans love, love, LOVE their meat. You'll be hard-pressed to find any vegetarians around here. If there are any, I have met them- I bet they would be more of a "closet vegetarians." ;)

I love braai’s because it is an excuse to get with friends and just “hang out”- usually it’s an all day event. I love that South Africans are relational in that way. In the last 2 months I’ve been to 4 braais- literally 1 every other Saturday- that’s quite a lot! So I wanted to document through pictures the 3 out of 4 braais that I attended.

These first set of pictures are on September 24, national Braai Day:

Precious friends! It was still rather cold and dreary, but that didn't keep us down!

Look at this awesome South African cake Stacie made- so festive!

Ethan, manning the grill

The next set of pictures is our our progressive dinner. There are 11 of us that live in the same apartment complex, so we decided to have a progressive dinner- so I guess a spin of American meets South African tradition.

First stop- Kristin and my flat for appetizers- guacamole & chips, as well as apples and yummy peanut butter dip

Here we all go single file to the next stop...

Salad with strawberries!

Next is soup: Italian soup with meatballs- it was delicious! I think it was my favorite course of the whole evening!

Hats off to the Hands On gals for making these precious moustaches to go on our straws

Don't mind if I do!

Then we go to the guy's flat for the meat portion of the evening

And end the evening with yummy desserts. We definitely had food comatose by the end of the evening!

The last braai I went to was last weekend for an engaged couple at my church. Such an amazing story of how the Father ordained them to meet, be engaged and then about to be married within about 6 months of time!

Jacques & Carlin- the happy couple

Vanessa in her ravishing purple- and to complement the purple Jacaranda tree in the background!

Let's be honest- all the adults were jealous that they couldn't be a kid and slip and slide down this with dish washing soap. Oh to be a kid again!!

What a fabulous time with friends! For the record, I am a fan of Braais!

Imago Dei

2011-11-03T22:26:00.000+02:00

“¡Bom Dia! ¡Bom Dia!”

This is the phrase that fills my ears as I walk down the alley to meet the women for the ESL class. The women I teach speak Portuguese and these are children greeting me when I arrive. I've become a familiar face that comes as consistently as I can every Thursday morning. When I first came they hid behind their moms and peered around them to look at me, a white person- white people don't readily come around there. Now they come and surround me with hugs, fist bumps (I taught them how to do the fist bump and then let it explode- they love it!), as well as rub their thumbs with mine and saying "Shaw" (still don't know what that means, but I pretend that it is a secret code word to get into their clubhouse). Now that I've been coming for over 10 months, to the kids it's just like a friend is coming over to play. But they do know that once I starting teaching the women (and some of them are their moms), they know not to interrupt. I have teaching material that goes through the gospel of Mark and the 2 girls of one of the women I teach will at times start jumping up and down exclaiming "Jesus! Jesus!" My heart sings! I do love how a couple of weeks ago one of the little boys who didn't see me when I initially arrived started waving at me frantically 2 shacks down while I was teaching and kept on saying “¡Bom Dia! ¡Bom Dia!" until I acknowledged him- be still my heart! Here's a pic I got with them today:

I didn't know when I had the picture taken that it was still on the color accent setting, but I sort of like it how it turned out. The reason I had this setting on my camera was because I took a picture of one of these:

This is a one of my all time favorite spring-time trees that is on the playground at the guest house called a Jacaranda. They are indigenous to Brazil, but I sure am glad that that it made it across the ocean to South Africa!

I digress, so let's go back to the precious children. Last week after I got done with the ESL lesson and started going over to the next street, it looked like the children had just returned from the tuck shop. When they saw me they flocked all around me to give hugs, fist bumps exploding and doing our "secret code." :) As I was doing that, my mind contemplated and wondered ""Where will these kids be in 10 years? Some of these kids are school age, but some are too young for school. Here is South Africa you have to pay to go to school. So if your family can't pay, you can't go. It's heartbreaking and it makes it seem like the government is kicking them while they're down. It also gives me a greater appreciation of the U.S.'s school education system where every child has the opportunity to attend school and get an education. Will these innocent children grow up to be a product of their society? Will the girls already be pregnant and will the boys be into alcohol and drugs, going nowhere fast? Will they still be living in these tin shacks that have no electricity or indoor plumbing? It's amazing how fast all these thoughts flooded my mind.

It is my earnest hope, plea and desire that in 10 years they still remember not my face or even my name (I don't think any of them know my name, though I know some of theirs), or even what I look like. The thing that I do hope they remember is that a white lady came every Thursday to talk about a man named Jesus to their mom's and aunts and neighbors and that they will start searching, if they haven't already at that point, to find out who He is and why it was/is so important to me. I pray that each one of them would know that are made in God's image and that every one who enters the world is a person of worth and dignity.

Father, I know Your heart beats fast for each of these children that are made in Your image and that You desire them to know that they can have a future and hope in YOU through Christ Your Son!! I thank you that Your hand is not so short that it cannot save (Is. 59:1) and ask that You give these children ears of faith to hear, eyes of hope to see and a heart of wisdom to understand for Your glory and reputation.

Here I Raise Mine Ebenezer

2011-10-11T17:52:00.000+02:00

I read a couple of day ago in 1 Samuel about how the Philistines went to battle against Israel. The Philistines defeated Israel that day killing thirty thousand foot soldiers. If that was not enough, the Philistines took the ark of God- the very thing that represented the very glory of God. The reaction of the news was unmistakable of how devastating this was: Eli, the priest, fell backwards and broke his neck and died at the news; his daughter-in-law went into labor at the news that caused her death. Before she died she gave the name of the boy she birthed “Icabod”- meaning “the glory has departed from Israel” because the ark of God was taken (1 Samuel 4:21). Devastating times.

Just when the Philistines thought the ark of God would bring them fortune; it actually does the exact opposite- it brings death and tragedy wherever it goes. The Philistines finally get a clue and see that the hand of God is heavy against them and frantically make plans to return the ark back into the hands of the Israelites.

When it does get back into the hands of the Israelites, they are irreverent of what the ark of God represents and have the audacity to look inside the ark- it cost 50,070 men’s lives that day. Pretty intense to say the least- but the Lord made it abundantly clear in regards to His holiness.

Fast forward twenty years and the Israelites are still being oppressed by the Philistines. Samuel admonishes the people to repent, return to the LORD with all of their hearts and turn away from the worthless idols with prayers and fasting. The Lord hears, has compassion and answers their request.

Samuel was so overcome with emotion, that he could not surpass having an outward expression of his gratitude. “The Samuel took a stone and set it between Mizpah and Shen, and named it Ebenezer, saying ‘Thus far the LORD has helped us.’ So the Philistines were subdued and they did not come anymore within the border of Israel. And the hand of the LORD was against the Philistines all the days of Samuel.” (1 Samuel 7:12-13)

Now clearly my story is not that dramatic- nor does it have to be. I have officially celebrated being on African soil for one year now. When I first arrived, I was on sensory overload with all the new sights and smells and new languages I had not heard before. With driving on the other side of the road and learning to drive a stick shift (which was definitely out of my comfort zone) to learning new customs and new vocabulary terms that South Africans use (like “biscuits” for cookies, “robot” for traffic light, “costume” for swim suit to name a few). I love my friends and now part of my family- from church, from the township, from the guest house to the company I work for. It has been a huge test of faith and obedience on my part, but He has been faithful every step of the way and will continue to be.

My ESL Ladies

Thankful for physical reminders of "how far" the Lord has taken me

So I will gladly raise mine Ebenezer because truly He has orchestrated it all and has helped me “thus far”. His story and what He is doing hear- continuing to shed light in the dark places with His truth has become my story. I have had the privilege of “proclaiming the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light” (1 Peter 2:9) and see Him save people, not by any words that I could conjure up, but all by His power and for His glory. I am constantly asking Him to redeem the time (Col. 4:5) because I only have 10 months left!

A Wakeup Call to Remember

2011-09-22T22:32:00.000+02:00

Growing up I was notorious for sleep-walking/sleeping-talking or if you were lucky (lucky as in you witnessing it and not really me) maybe a little of both. It was not unusual to find me on the couch in the mornings in high school (that’s not where I went to sleep at, mind you) and my Dad would be in his chair reading his Bible and look up at me and ask, “Slept-walk again?” I’d sheepishly grin, nod and go about my day.

I came to see a correlation between my sleep-walking and talking and being overly-exhausted and lack of sleep (ironically). So it’s not surprising that these embarrassing bouts of sleep walking and talking would come at the most inconvenient of times as a junior high or high school student(at least for me, not necessarily my friends- they loved it!), like sleep-over’s or summer camp. Awesome.

One example that happened at summer camp was so epic that I got my camp name from Pine Cove from it- my friends found me crawling around on the floor saying that I lost my marbles the summer before my freshman year in high school. Thus I got coined the name Toodles, who is from the movie Hook who had lost his marbles in Never, Never Land. So whether it is trying to find my marbles, shouting there is an Indian in the window shooting with bows and arrows, or other ridiculous things, I’ve done my share of humorous things while sleeping.

And I’d like to think that I’ve grown out of it (that’s what studies say is supposed to happen) and because I don’t allow myself to become overly exhausted (if I can help it). It has been told to me however in March that I prayed in my sleep. That’s a new one! There’s something that happened to me last week that makes it an all time first, and it is too good not to share. Let me recount the story:

Last Friday 2 volunteers flew in to Jo’Burg just to leave the next morning to fly to Mozambique. Nothing unusual there. Jo’Burg is the main gateway to get to the surrounding countries from the States. One of them had been at the guest house before, so he was familiar with everything. Before I left them for the night, he asked me if I could give him a wakeup call because he was planning on taking some Night-Quil to get him to sleep that night and didn’t want to wake up late. I told him “That’s a request I haven’t gotten before, but sure why not?” I told him I would call him at 6 a.m. and went about my evening.

You know though how when you are responsible to waking up someone else, you don’t sleep well because you are afraid you’ll oversleep yourself? That’s exactly what I did. I actually dreamt that I woke up at 6:45am (and needed to go fetch them at 7am to catch their flight) and I was mortified. So I quickly called them in my dream and gave them the wakeup call. Or so I thought- about the dreaming part. I thought I was dreaming, until I started waking up and the phone was in my hand. Oh no. Did I really just call them? I frantically look at the call log to see that I did, in fact, call them. Calling them in my sleep was a feat in itself because it’s not just a generic number. It’s like this: xxx-xxx-05 and then the last 2 numbers is the number of their room. I somehow managed to call the right number. That takes talent!

The thought that came immediately after coming to the realization that I just called them was “What time is it?!” I looked at my clock and it is 5 minutes until 2 a.m.!!! You can imagine the panic I had at that moment. Do I call them back? Or do I pretend that wasn’t me and when they mention it in the morning, just laugh it off and say. “Man, that was a mean prank call someone did!” Well honesty thankfully got the best of me and I called them back and without any explanation, apologized and told them to go back to sleep. The volunteer that answered the phone again said “What time is it- it’s really dark outside?” I reluctantly told him “2 a.m. I’m so sorry.” And then we hang up and I call him back in 4 hours- when the wakeup call was supposed to take place in the first place and they were already up. So really, I had a sleepless night for nothing. Cool.

When I picked them up I explained fully what happened and we all had a good laugh. But really- that actually happened. It’s been funny about recounting this story to friends that have actually witnessed this ridiculosity first hand. I guess it keeps me humble. ;) After hearing this story people have asked me if someone in the future asks for a wakeup call, will I do it? My answer is: I don’t know- maybe. For their own sakes though I might give a way of warning by telling this story and they can decide to trust in my ability or to use their trusty alarm clock that is provided in their own room. J

So I guess I can now put this in my repertoire:

Sleep-walking? Check.

Sleep-talking? Check check.

Sleep- phoning? Been there, done that in hopes to not have it repeated ever again. But no promises!

The end.

It's been a while...

2011-09-20T22:23:00.000+02:00

Dear blogging world,

I am so sorry that I neglected you for the last 3 months. It was not my intention…life just happened and so here I am. Deepest apologies and let’s still be friends, ok? Cheers.

It’s been almost 2 months since my supervisors have been gone and I’ve assumed the role of guest house manager. While some days are better than others, I am getting the hang of it (by His grace!) and adjusting to the new constancy of it all. A day off is hard to come by, so always a welcomed rest and relief. I’ve had to think quickly on my feet, delegate, be “assertive Suzanne”, be gracious, eager to serve, humble, patient and know when to say no. I’ve had the whole range of emotions- from joyous elation to being so frustrated and exhausted to the point of tears. But true to form, He has been faithful.

One thing that has not been compromised is my time with Him. Though it was tempting a couple of days to just go without it, which was just not an option. Just last week I cried out to Him before getting into His Word after an emotional day, “Father, I just need You to be my balm in Your Word.” And that next hour was just that. EXACTLY what I needed. He spoke to me tenderly and yet, at the same time as a warning not to view my situation like I’m the victim; such as “But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy. And the seed whose fruit is righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.” [James 3:17-18] See- I need His Word implanted, which is able to save my soul.

My Bible just got a make-over done. I’ve had this Bible for almost 10 years. I purchased this Bible for the purpose of being a student of the Word. It has lexical aids, a Hebrew and Greek dictionary. It has been very loved on through the years; so much so that the binding needed a little TLC. So I got it rebound in buffalo skin- how cool is that?!? A colleague of mine bought this from Zimbabwe so that he could get his daughter’s Bible rebound and had to buy the whole hide. The cost of the buffalo skin and rebinding of it cost somewhere between $25-30. What a steal of a deal! Here are the before and after pictures:

A much loved and worn Bible

Ta-da! Isn't it a beauty?!

Woot!

Glad to have my friend and constant companion back in my possession and what a blessing it has been to get it rebound so that we can have many more years together. I say with the psalmist, "If Your law had not been my delight, I would have perished in my affliction." Psalm 119:92 And that's not to be dramatic, it's just that I've needed something beyond me, namely the Father, to give me the strength that has been required over the last couple of months. May I give off the fragrance to others and give the admonishment to cherish and savor the Word and drink deep His river of delights (Ps36:8-9)

Love Traveling

2011-06-28T22:21:00.003+02:00

My supervisors are headed back to the States for 7 months at the end of July, which leaves me to “hold down the fort” at the guest house. I’ve known this since day one that I got here, but as I look to the calendar as see how their time to leaving is quickly approaching, and yet there is so much to learn, to do…
I think I am ready (by His grace alone) to start this 7 month long trek, even though the “what if’s” are still looming over my head. There is so much that goes on to make this guest house run logistically, not to mention the time I want to invest in the people that come- whether just passing through or here to stay for awhile- to hear their stories, to pray with/for them and hope they are rested and encouraged as they go on there way.

It’s amazing the refinement that goes on in the waiting period. I’m so thankful for the waiting period (this one and in the past) as I say with David “And now, Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in You.” (Psalm 39:4). It is my desire to take every thought and feeling captive and make it obedient to Christ (2 Cor. 10:5), and so waiting has a way of fleshing out those fears and showing things that are hidden and bringing it to light. I am so thankful for perspective.

I found this poem, “Love Traveling” by Amy Carmichael in her book “Toward Jerusalem.” When I read it for the first time this week, I literally sighed because it identifies what my heart feels/saying. Below is the poem with my random musings of each line.

Love Traveling (in italics) by Amy Carmichael

Love, traveling in the greatness of His strength,

It reminds me of the Jon Foreman song “Your Love is Strong.”

“Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? 36 Just as it is written, “FOR YOUR SAKE WE ARE BEING PUT TO DEATH ALL DAY LONG; WE WERE CONSIDERED AS SHEEP TO BE SLAUGHTERED.” But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us. 38 For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:35-39

Thank you Father for this promise.

Found me alone,

I am not alone, though sometimes I feel like it. The enemy tells me I am and tries to tempt me to despair. The truth is I am never alone. The Father, Son and Spirit- all in one- come to my aid when I am lacking and/or in need. “The LORD is near to all who call upon Him, to all who call upon Him in truth.” (Psalm 145:18)

And not only that, but I have dear, precious friends that remind me of that truth, when it is difficult to see clearly. As Dietrich Bonhoeffer states in “Life Together”: The Chr*stain needs another Chr*stain who speaks God’s Word to him. He needs him again and again when he becomes uncertain and discouraged, for by himself he cannot help himself without belying the truth. He needs his brother man as a bearer and proclaimer of the divine word of salvation. He needs his brother solely because of Jesus Chr*st.”

Wearied a little by the journey’s length,

I must confess that I am weary, even before I begin my 7 month long trek. I know I will be challenged to my limits physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally, as well as challenged in my character- how I respond in stressful situations. But I know the Word says “do not grow weary of doing good.” (2 Thes. 3:13). And this will give opportunity to depend on Him on a whole new level!

Though I had known,

I know the truth…it’s just sometimes difficult to transfer it 8 inches from my brain to my heart. That is why I am in the ministry of reminding- to myself and others-Therefore, I will always be ready to remind you of these things, even though you already know them, and have been established in the truth which is present with you. I consider it right, as long as I am in this earthly dwelling, to stir you up by way of reminder” (2 Peter 1:12-13)

All the long way, many a kindly air,

All the way my Savior leads me…and more times than not He is beckoning me to lie in green pastures and beside still waters for the sole purpose of restoring my soul. So many times I feel like I have to do, do, do and really all that needs to happen is to abide and drink deep His rivers of delights (Psalm 36:8)

And flowers had blossomed for me everywhere.

I have a Father that loves to give good gifts. So whether it’s a red bird, a text, an e-mail, a package, a beautiful sunset or morsels from His Word, He always leaves fingerprints all over the place as way of reminders of His love which He lavishes on me.

And yet Love found me fearful, and He stayed;

I think this is the point in the poem that I teared up the first time that I read this. Even though I am fearful at the unknown, at irrational, petty things, He doesn’t turn me away when I cry out to him. He is merciful and compassionate and patient beyond belief.

Love stayed by me.

“They confronted and came upon me in the day of my calamity, but the Lord was my stay and support.” Psalm 18:18

I am overwhelmed by His pursual on my life; that He doesn’t give up on me but has the promise that “He who began a good work in me will perfect it (Phil 1:6)” until He returns.

“Let not thy heart be troubled or dismayed,

Once again, I don’t ever have to despair, because He is with me, so I will not fear. Easier said than done, but if I truly believed it in my heart of hearts, then that truth would radically change my outlook and how I approach any and every situation as I walk in victory.

“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
And through the rivers, they will not overflow you.
When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched,
Nor will the flame burn you.
“For I am the LORD your God,
The Holy One of Israel, your Savior;” Isaiah 43:2-3

My child,” said He.

Those two words are so freeing in themselves. I am His child- the Creator of the whole universe. He is for me and not against me. He is worth my life.

“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are Mine.” Isaiah 43:1

“See how great a love the Father has bestowed on us, that we would be called children of God; and such we are.” 1 John 3:1

Slipped from me then all troubles, all alarms;

“I sought the LORD, and He answered me, and delivered me from all my fears.” Psalm 34:4

When my focus is fixed on Him and His glory and centered on the eternal perspective, how easily lesser things slip away from my sight!

For Love had gathered me into His arms.

And this is the best place to be- in His arms. It reminds me of Mandi Mapes song “In Your Arms” that I usually have on repeat.

A prayer I wrote out not too long ago: “God, you know my needs and my wants. They are plain to you and I ask You to provide for them. But Lord, I love you so much that this is my ultimate prayer: Let my life be used to show the greatness and goodness of my God and His eternal love no matter what I face. Above all, I pray for the glory of Jesus’ name.”

29...Beginning the Last Year of a Decade

2011-06-18T21:41:00.000+02:00

It’s hard to believe that I have just begun my last year in the decade of my 20’s. If you know me, I love, love, LOVE birthdays and never shy to admit my age. I hope that even when I’m 65 I will be excited about how old I am and see it as a gift that the Father Himself granted me. He has appointed and set out every day that He has for me, in His sovereignty, as well as numbered my breaths.

The Father has been so gracious to me in my 20’s thus far and I know this year will be no different. From graduating college, to having my first full-time job at Pine Cove and working a variety of jobs within the organization: CEO’s nanny, Health & Safety and investing in the health assistants in the summer, Assistant to the Chaplain, as well as to the Forge Director, and Registration. After a total of almost 6 years full time, I left changed and transformed for His glory, as I have gained confidence in the gifts He has instilled in me and having grown in them. Then within the last year have walked by faith and have headed to overseas service in South Africa. Every step of the way He has proven Himself faithful. I have experienced so many things within the last year in the realm of seeing the advancement of His kingdom on earth as it is in heaven. I am expectant for this next year as I continue to walk, by His grace, in faith and obedience.

My sister, Angie, was able to come visit for my birthday, since she knew that birthdays are a BIG DEAL in my book. Even though she bought her plane ticket 6 months ago and now seemed like the craziest of times to come over for a week in the midst of change and transition in the life of her family, the Lord knew she desperately needed some time of rest and relaxation!

The picture above is a pre-birthday festivities- having a fantastic Mexican style dinner- homemade chicken enchiladas. My supervisors are the best!!

Angie and I got pedi's and massages as treats for my birthday- it was fantastic!!

Here's the crew that came over for my celebratory birthday dinner!

We went to the Lion Park. I attempted to venture out to a new game park- but it was so far away- 200km one way, so we opted to save time and money and go with the one I went to last month with Jenn.

Angie-girl with the giraffe. Like Jenn, she didn't too much for the slimy tongue., but he sure is cute!

As for me- I didn't so much care! :) I loved seeing my friend, Jerry, again (no clue if the giraffe even has a name- it's just what I call him! :) )

We met up with some of my friends- Bianca and Dominique (who are sisters) at the Jo'Burg Botanical Gardens. It was a bright, sunny, lovely day. Sisters meeting up with sisters mingled with good conversations- can't beat it!!

Here's Angie and I before I took her to the airport to make her trek back home. We slept in pretty much every day, watched our share of chick flicks and had pretty much a low-key week, as she sees parts of my world here in Jo'Burg and enjoying being in each other's presence. I love you Angie-girl and am SO glad you came!!

Faith Proved Genuine

2011-06-15T00:09:00.000+02:00

³ "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, ⁴ and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade. This inheritance is kept in heaven for you, ⁵ who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. ⁶ In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. ⁷ These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. ⁸ Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, ⁹ for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls. " 1 Peter 1:3-8

This is probably one of my hardest blogs to write to date.

I was awakened Saturday morning to a text letting me know that Steve Hammond had passed away. My heart could not have been heavier as I tried to let the reality sink in. I had officially only met Steve once, but have felt like I have known him all my life. You see, Abbey is his daughter and she is a very, very, dear friend to me. And while Abbey and I have only been friends for a little under a year, it seems like we have known each other our whole lives. You know/have/can relate to have those kinds of friends in your life, right? Then you know what a jewel to have those kind of people in your life.

When Steve found out that the cancer had come back and had gone into the bones in September, I was there the night Abbey found out the news after a conference call with her family. I remember crying on the bed with other dear friends around, pleading with God for His mercy and healing. I recruited my prayer warriors back home to have them start praying for Abbey and her family by name. SO thankful I have friends who will not hesitate to pray for others, even though they haven't met the people for whom they are praying for. Man, oh man, I am so thankful for them- that because it was important to me, it was important to them.

At the beginning of the year, I made a resolution to pray for Steve and the rest of the Hammond Family (aka Ham Fam) every day at 1:30. I had been praying for them regularly, but I wanted to be all the more intentional about my time and whoever I was with, I would just ask them to join me in prayer. And you know how when you are praying for them consistently you feel a special connection, even though you might not have even met them? That's how I felt about the Ham Fam. Besides Abbey, I had only met her precious parents and Steve coined me the name "Suzannasburger" (bc I live in Johannesburg). Abbey was fantastic about giving updates regularly and praying all the more boldy for His healing.

At the beginning of this month, Steve took a turn for the worse. I was praying non-stop. I really have learned what it means to be praying without ceasing. Abbey, by His great mercies, was able to get back before he was gone. It happened so fast in those couple of weeks.

So when I found out Steve was gone, I was devastated- for Abbey and the rest of her precious family. I rejoiced because Steve was no longer in pain, and he is where we all long to be- at the feet of the Savior, beholding His face. I was sad beyond words because I knew it wouldn't be possible to go back to the States for the funeral. And once again, I have always been told that you can always miss a wedding, but never miss a funeral.

Here is what has blown me away as I have had a front row seat to see how Abbey and her family, and even Steve have responded during these agonizing months: even through it all, to have an unwavering devotion to the One whom they have dedicated their very lives to.

Who writes these things on their(Abbey and her siblings and her mom) facebook wall shortly after seeing their father pass away?

"God is good. All the time."

"Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of His saints." Thanks so much for walking through this with my family in the past months. Love you all."

"He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” Revelation 21:4
ESV

"I am thanking God for the peace I have today... Not a lack of sadness, but peace beyond understanding."

Who is able to write such things in the midst of such sadness of losing a husband, a daddy, a hero?!?

Answer: People who have had their faith proved genuine. They believe God is who He says He is and that He will do what He says He will do. And because of that knowledge, they are believing God for the strength and endurance that it takes to endure these intense trials.

may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed." Through their suffering, they have a blinking neon sign that says:

"Our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ" (Phil 3:20)

I have and continue to be in awe of the Hammond Family. At the end of the day and when these type of trials come it is my hope that I will be able to display Christ's worth like they have as they cling and savor Christ together and be able to say wholeheartedly "O taste and see that the LORD is good; How blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him!" (Psalm 34:8)

Safari

2011-05-18T22:24:00.000+02:00

Friday Jenn and I head to the Lion Park. I was excited to go on my first "safari" of sorts and see up close some the animals that inhabit the continent of Africa and in South Africa. But the Lion Park doesn't have just lions. They also have other animals, such as this guy:

Hey there Jerry!

Here is the vehicle that we took for our one hour safari guided tour. It was only us and another couple from China, so we basically had our own private tour!

Aren't they precious little lion cubs?

Loved getting to pet the lion cubs!

Zebras

Our tour guide, Kirsty

Blesbok- endemic to South Africa

Even on a safari, one can get stuck in the mud. This is Africa, folks!

K-I-N-G of the J-U-N-G-L-E (in the words of Steven Curtis Chapman)

Cheetahs!

I think I can say for both of us that the giraffes were hands down the best part of the day. What I didn't know though, (and Jenn didn't up to this point) that Jenn was a little (or a lot) jumpy around giraffes; particularly because of it's long, slimy and coarse tongue. It was hilarious because she wanted to feed the giraffes, but yet didn't, for fear of the tongue. It was quite entertaining!!

I, on the other hand, did not mind one bit and was having the time of my life!

Look at that tongue!

And that tongue- too funny!!

Can't contain my excitement!

After the Lion Park, we headed to the Monte Casino (no worries, not to gamble! :)) to see the inside sights such as this:

And to find this:

STARBUCKS!!!!

This is the only place in Jo'Burg that I know of that has a Starbucks, and I haven't had since when I went to London in March. Too bad (or maybe not) that they don't have one closer to where I live!

After going to the Apartheid Museum the next day (which was very educational!), I headed to the airport once again to send Jenn back to Texas. The week went by too fast, but at the same time the Father was gracious to redeem the time and make it seem longer than it really was and we were able to soak of every minute!!

My First Visitor!

2011-05-18T21:29:00.000+02:00

Happy.

May 7th was the long awaited arrival of Jennifer Adele Crouse: my first "official" visitor to South Africa. To say I was excited was an understatement. Jenn and I lived together last year in Tyler and the phrase we quickly began saying after she moved in was "Aaand we are the same person." We don't so much look like each other, but our mannerisms and such are a lot alike. It is hard to believe that it has almost been a year since I moved out of my house in Tyler. SO much has happened since then. Jenn resolutely made up her mind that she wanted to come visit and in December she bought the tickets and I have been counting down the days ever since!

I was so excited for someone to come and see the day in and day out events of my life in Jo'Burg. For someone to have an outside opinion of the place and people that I have come to love. And it seemed so normal to have Jenn here and doing things that we would have done in Tyler, such as making chocolate pancakes and drinking hot tea/coffee, as well as just picking up where we left off and catching up on the God sightings from the past year. Friendship is certainly a comforting thing and I am grateful for Jenn and living life on life together in Tyler and now abroad!

Pancakes and introducing Jenn to nettle and peppermint tea (thanks Grace for introducing it to me!)

The first evening that Jenn was here, I invited Bianca and Dominique over for dinner. Bianca and Dominique are sisters and I am smack dab in the middle of their ages. They also attend my church and have become dear friends. So, naturally, I wanted Jenn to get to know them as well!

Peanut Butter Bars are always a great ending to a good meal.

Tea time at church- a great tradition

Jenn went to church with me and got to see first hand why I adore the people that also attend there, as well as hear the solid teaching that is taught faithfully every week. After church we went to a too cute tea garden and then to an African market.

On Monday Jenn got on the plane again to go visit her friend, Bri and returned back on Thursday (yay!). Next post is about the adventures to the Lion Park. Stay tuned...

Hiking in Pretoria

2011-05-18T17:24:00.000+02:00

On May 2 I had the opportunity to go on a hike with a few of my friends from my church. I’ve wanted to go on a hike for a while, and I got my chance. It was a rather strenuous hike and one way was 9 km (a little over 5.5 miles), so it took 2.5 hours up and 1.5 going down. We found out afterwards that there was actually a shortcut that we didn’t know about, but oh well! We’re all the wiser for next time. But SO worth it when you get to see this when you get to the top:

Breath-taking view- the Hartbeespoort Dam

Beautiful!

Here's the crew that braved the elements (minus Jessie in the middle on crutches- she was just eager to get a change of scenery, and stayed out by the cars and soaked in the quietness and beauty.

Hiking brought back so many memories back to hiking in Israel when I went with the Forge in 2008. It's just something about it to take in all of your senses complimented with your feet hiking through the mountains.

We hiked the Uitkyk trail which is about 30 km outside of Pretoria.

This is Candi and she was our pace-setter, and she went FAST. She doesn't have a car and so is used to walking everywhere and let's just say, the rest of us aren't and it showed!! ;) I think we finished almost a third of the time faster and she was always like this, waiting for us to catch up to her- haha!

There were white footprints all along the way letting us know we were going the right way. This picture let us know that you could continue on one of two ways. It was funny because if it had been a while and you hadn't seen one of these footprints, we would ask each other "Have you seen a white foot lately?" I couldn't help but thing of Psalm 119:105: "Your Word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path."

Here I raise mine Ebenezer;
hither by thy help I'm come;
and I hope, by thy good pleasure,
safely to arrive at home.
Jesus sought me when a stranger,
wandering from the fold of God;
he, to rescue me from danger,
interposed his precious blood.

Me and Carlin- thankful for the friendships I have made here in Jo'Burg!

Looking a little rough, but soaking up the view!

Me and Vanessa- who introduced us to the hike!

To end the day, we arrived back to braai some good meat and ate some yummy sides. Aaand, a beautiful sunset to end a wonderful day!

A Reason to Celebrate

2011-05-17T20:54:00.000+02:00

Little pun'kin!!

A few of weeks ago I, along with my colleagues, had a chance to throw a baby shower for one of my ESL women, Erina. It was a time of celebration because the baby boy, whose name is Junior, has finally arrived and more importantly to show Erina the value of life of this little one. So we came with gifts, refreshments and words of advice and/or scripture for Erina as to raise her sons who loves Jesus passionately.

Here is Erina with her oldest son, Luis

Erina opening my gift

I gave Erina 2 warm pajamas because winter is upon us in South Africa. I also gave her diapers. In the township they only use cloth. I bought some diapers because I figure she is not using diapers because she doesn't prefer them, but because they are too expensive. I'm sure if she doesn't care for them, she can find someone who does! ;)

The star of the show that day- let's just say he had a captivated audience!

Here are the guests that attended and let's just say the kids were a little excited about the refreshments!

Women top Lto R: Lembrassa and Erina
bottom L to R: Victoria and Elinda

The women in the picture above are all women that attend my ESL class every week. When I got back from London, Victoria and Elinda where there at Lembrassa's. I honestly thought that they were there at the wrong place at the wrong time, but I invited them to join and so they did. Maybe that was the only invite that was needed, because they have faithfully been coming every week since and I have thoroughly enjoyed having them as an addition to my class!

Here is the faithful crew that goes with me every week, sharing the Good News and discipleship in this township called Zin Zella. Please ask for the Father's continued favor as we share light in a dark place: "Light arises in the darkness for the upright; He is gracious and compassionate and righteous." Psalm 112:4

Please also continuing to pray for Erina and her living situation. She is living with her boyfriend and she relies on him for her provision- literally, her very sustenance. As you can read from a previous blog, that's one of the reasons I entered into the picture and specifically teaching ESL. The boyfriend has been drinking a lot at other friends places and has been abusive towards her again. It's so hard because you feel helpless for her and don't know what to do and how much to give of time and resources. The pastor at the church in the township is trying to intervene and talk to her boyfriend, so ask for wisdom and discernment for the pastor, Chris. Last Thursday, Erina's countenance was happy, so we pray that things are already getting better. It has been fun seeing that Erina is learning and helping the two new students, since they have come in a little late and we can't afford to start over. I can sense that she is "getting" it and reached a new level. Let me tell you, it is only by His grace because my sister is the teacher in the family, not me! ;)

Battling Unbelief

2011-04-23T21:03:00.000+02:00

I wish and long to be a person with the all-star average of trusting that I serve a God and believing that He is who He says He is and He will do what He will say what He will do. And when those days come where I am excelling to walking blindly by faith, I will gladly let you know, but when I'm not and doubting the step and see how He will provide, I would like no more than to dust it under the rug and pretend that those feelings and emotions don't exist; and well, that is straight up prideful. And since we know pride comes before a fall, I want to avoid that fall and confess: I am struggling (again!) with unbelief.

Here’s my situation: My supervisors are headed back to the States for furlough for 7 months (July-February) and I will be in charge of EVERYTHING that pertains to guest house that around 9,000 people come in a year’s time comes through our doors. Gulp.

We have attempted to get a college student come for the semester to come and help and that would give me an opportunity to directly disciple. I long for that one-on-discipleship that is lacking in my life right now. The discipleship that I am doing right now in the township isn’t bad or even lacking; it’s just different and different is okay, but if the opportunity presents itself, I want to jump at it. There have been a few setbacks on trying to find someone to come alongside me for the fall semester. I have been assured I will get help; it just might look different of what I had originally envisioned.

The Father is so gracious and patient with me. It is amazing to me how He can bring about circumstances in my life that flesh out things that are in the dark, recesses of my soul and bring them to light and restoration. As I wring my hands in anxiousness, He gently reminds me that I have been in this waiting room of silence before. And then I recall that I know the waiting period too well because even where I am today in South Africa is a long process of waiting and surrender. And it’s in this waiting period where the Father refines me the most. He pries away from my fingers the idea wanting and needing to be in control and let the reality sink in that I am not and will never be. His plans, ways and thoughts are ALWAYS better than mine and have a greater return, because He gets the glory. Two prayers I find myself praying on a daily basis are “Lord, help my unbelief” and “Lord, increase my faith.” These phrases are found in Mark 9 & Luke 17.

In Mark 9 Peter, James and John experience the powerful moment with Jesus the Transfiguration on the mountain. Right after that, they went down the mountain and found the disciples and a scene in chaos. The disciples tried to cast out a demon from a boy, but they were unable to. So they brought the boy to Jesus and the father of the boy described how the demon caused the boy to go into convulsions since childhood. The father then said to Jesus “If You can do anything, take pity on us and help us!” Jesus immediately catches the problem and replied back to the father, “If You can? All things are possible to him who believes. “Immediately the boy’s father cried out and said, “I do believe” and in the same breath said “Help me with my unbelief!” Jesus immediately cast out the demon and the raised the boy up, in his right mind.

I am just like that father who wants to walk by faith and tries to convince myself and others that I 100% trust and believe, at all times, God knows best. But it fleshes itself out in my life when I don’t by making excuses: “Maybe God overlooked this situation and so I need to take into my own hands” or “Did God really mean that He “causes all things to work together for good to those who love God to those who are called according to His purpose…to become conformed to the image of His Son. (Romans 8:28-29) It is this kind of thinking that goes all the way back to Eve. Lord, help me with me with my unbelief!

There is a hymn written by John Newton entitled “Help My Unbelief.” The second verse says “In God’s most holy will; I know what He appoints is best, and murmur at it still. I murmur at it still.” And then the chorus simply (but powerfully!) sates “Help my unbelief, help my unbelief. My help must come from Thee.”

“Increase my faith” comes from Luke 17 when Jesus is speaking to His disciples about how is better for a millstone hung around the person’s neck and thrown into the sea that causes any child to stumble. Then he also mentions “if a brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. And even if he sins against you seven times a day and returns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ forgive him.” Then the disciples empathetically reply to the Lord, “Increase our faith!” Without the Lord’s help and transforming power in their lives and heart, they are sunk, because it is such a tall order to truly forgive and have patience in abundance for that brother that sins against you, not only once, but 7 times in one day; and then 77 times seven. The disciples knew that they were incapable and weak of that forgiveness without Jesus’ intervention and had to be utterly and completely reliant on His grace and mercy in their own lives, because freely they received, so freely they must give. I am in the same boat. And I am so glad to confess this because James tells us “confess your sins to one another so that you can be healed.” Why is that there and why do I need to know? Because I firmly believe there is a direct correlation to confessing and healing.

As I am smack dab in the middle of Easter weekend, I am reminded of one of my favorite hymns “At Calvary” where the refrain states “Mercy there was great, and grace was free; Pardon there was multiplied to me; there my burdened soul found liberty at Calvary.” I have to be completely dependent on Him to provide and as Amy Carmichael says “He who hath led will lead.” So I will fully entrust my life to Him- all the way my Shepherd leads me: The Lord is my Shepherd. I am His sheep. He is all I need.

Refreshment

2011-04-11T11:49:00.000+02:00

"He changes a wilderness into a pool of water and a dry land into springs of water; And there He makes the hungry to dwell, so that they may establish an inhabited city, and sow fields and plant vineyards,and gather a fruitful harvest." Psalm 107:35-37

We had a cluster meeting a week and a half ago and it was such a refreshing time. Honestly, I wasn't expecting for it to be as refreshing as it was. Praise to the Father that He gives good gifts to His kids, despite the lack of expectation on my part! The volunteers came from FBC Orlando and blessed us in so many ways!

My Malagasy friends! I love the instant bond we have because of the work we are doing.

Old friends- love that I can say that even though we have known each other for 9 months. When you're all in a transitional role, it's amazing how close you can get to each other. I know we will be friends for life!

Happy.

I can't believe I haven't posted a picture of my supervisors yet! Meet Stan and Nancy Dickard. They are a wonderful couple who I have the honor to serve alongside and learn from. They are hospitality extraordinares and eager to serve anybody and everybody and causes me to aspire to do the same! We make a great team!

What a treat it was to see Bryan & Dana Bullington! They go back to my high school days and attended my home church when they were stateside. Their daughter, Kaci, is my age and it was SO good to see a family called to the m*ssions field as I also felt called at the age of 12. I don't remember having many conversations with them about it all, but even just seeing their family's life lived out, was enough encouragement to me to get excited about the plans that He had for me one day to also go where ever and whenever He wanted me to go. And now I am living out my dream and it such a sweet thing to be walking in His ways! Thankful that He strategically placed people in my path along the way. He gives and He gives and He gives!

Autumn in March

2011-03-27T19:40:00.000+02:00

It was definitely a weird sensation while getting out of my car for church and seeing the falling of the leaves and the temperature getting slightly cooler at the end of March. Though in the States people are enjoying the blooming of Spring (especially in East Texas where azaleas, dogwoods, wisteria and blue bonnets abound), in South Africa, autumn is just upon us. The mix up of seasons is definitely something to get used to, though I'd confidently say that I have not mixed winter at all, but it's coming! ;)

Yellow leaves always make me think of Kelsey :)

While the falling of leaves was still on my mind, we read this in church today:

1Then he showed me a river of the water of life, clear as crystal, coming from the throne of God and of the Lamb,
2in the middle of its street On either side of the river was the tree of life, bearing twelve kinds of fruit, yielding its fruit every month; and the leaves of the tree were for the healing of the nations.

Absolutely beautiful!! I love this vivid imagery of the tree of life being the balm to the gathering of the nations of all the pain and persecution that has and will be afflicted until His ultimate and sure return. I long for this day when all of creation is made whole as it should have always been and suffering will be no more, and His promise, "Surely, I am coming quickly." Even so, come, Lord J*sus!

London

2011-03-22T15:52:00.000+02:00

The timing to London couldn’t have been better as I met up with my 3 dear friends. Even though only being here in South Africa for 5 ½ months, it was a much needed break, being understood by people that know you well and getting to openly share struggles, joys and requests and not having to explain yourself and just getting to minister to one another. I had been sick with a stomach virus at the beginning of the week and it lingered the first 3 days that I was there. I was bummed because I wanted to be up to par and not be a burden to my friends and slow down the day’s events. Of course they were more than eager to take care of me (the first day I got there I still had a little bit of a temp.). By Sunday I was good to go and for that I was thankful!

On the first night Abbey had a surprise for us. We went into the other room and waited for her to “set up” and when she was ready we came in and she had Christmas music going and a picture of us she made around a Christmas tree and wrapped presents. It truly was the best surprise- I’ve never had Christmas in March before!!

Here we are with our Macedonia gifts!

Here are some sights that we saw while in London:

Here is the South African Embassy in Trafalgar's Square and I was conveniently wearing my "I love Africa" shirt!

London Bridge

The Texas Embassy!! Tex Mex food, DP, and country music = heavenly!! I might've gone twice that week! :)

Saw Wicked for the first time- I've been wanting to see it forever! It did not disappoint!

Abbey Road!

At a tea house eating on scones with jam and clotted cream and drinking hot tea. Yum!!

Fish n Chips

Abbey & I had our share of Starbucks- miss having the convenience of getting it whenever I like

For St. Patty's day, Grace and I made Shamrock pancakes. We put green food coloring, but it didn't show in the pic.

528 stairs later, here we are at the top of St Paul's Cathedral with a beautiful view of London. Def was feeling it days later!

At Oxford University with this lovely purple tree!

Eagle and Child, where C.S. Lewis and J.R.R. Tolkien met in association of the Inklings writing group

Having a deep theological discussion with C.S. Lewis

Overall, it was such a great quality time and refreshing with dear friends. It was great to be away, but also I great feeling being excited about coming back to Jo'burg and being ready and eager to serve for a busy month ahead for us at the Guest House.

ESL Students

2011-03-04T11:04:00.000+02:00

L to R: Lembrassa, Erina & Luiz

I proudly get to introduce to you my ESL students! For the last 9 weeks I have going every Thursday with some other colleagues to a township, Zen Zella, to teach ESL (English as a Second Language), while my colleagues do storying and B*ble studies. The curriculum I am using is very intentional by going through the gospel of Mark. Both of them profess to be believers and they are from Mozambique, and so know mainly Portuguese (along with some Zulu as well). It's been a delight to build relationships with them over the last 2 months. Let me share a little bit about each one:

Lembrassa- I would call her "feisty." :) She knows what she wants and not afraid to let you know it. I love her though because she is very lively and loves to joke around and laugh. As I have mentioned before, Lembrassa is a believer, but her mother is the local Sangoma. The Father is doing a lot in this township, including a starting of a ch*rch, but the enemy is still very present. It is a joy to be able to go and shed light in a dark place and see the Light begin to overwhelm it.

Erina- She is the main reason why I started doing ESL with these two ladies. Erina is pregnant with her second child, that is actually due sometime in the month of March (my guess is that it's a girl)! When I first got to Africa, I was made known of Erina's situation: she is living with her boyfriend, along with her then 18 month son, and the boyfriend had been acting abusive towards her. One of my colleagues decided to take her to a Safe House, so while she was safe, she was unhappy, because she didn't know English and she was paranoid that all the other women were saying things about her, so she ended up back where she was. I think things are better now. Because I volunteered at the Pregnancy Resource Center in Tyler for 6 years, naturally my heart went out to her and I wanted to help. Erina is kind and eager to learn and graciously opens her "home" every week.

Luiz (English pronunciation for Luiz: L as in "lee (L.IY)" ; UW as in "two (T.UW)" ; Z as in "zee (Z.IY)) - He is almost 2 years old and is a cutie!! It makes my heart happy that I am now a normal face now, and not an uncommon white face to be afraid of. :) I love that I got him in the picture, eating the banana bread that I made and brought- 1 for Lembrassa and one for Erina. I think Luiz ate about half of the banana bread in the 3 hours that I was there- an excellent compliment to me! :)

Please continue to ask the Father for favor as I am with these 2 ladies and gain access into their lives and teaching them English with scripture. Also ask that there would be no rain on the Thursday mornings we go out, since we do everything outside and it would literally put a damper on things. I have had some dear friends praying every week for that and He has been faithful to answer!

Disturb Me, Lord

2011-02-25T15:35:00.000+02:00

You know those unforgettable talks that just sticks with you years later down the road? There have been many for me from John Piper, Louie Giglio, and Beth Moore that have helped define and refine who I am in the Lord. There is also one from Catalyst 2007 from Craig Groeschel, that has remained with me; one phrase that I find myself repeating and actually writing in my Bible when I come to a situation and reminds of that particular phrase. and that phrase is "Disturb Me, Lord." Here are the three thoughts Craig shared. He talked about practical atheism. That is when we believe in God but we do life as if God doesn't exist. Here is what happens when we become practical atheists:

1) We believe our effort is more important than God's power!

2) We believe our private life doesn't effect our public ministry.

3) We believe we must please people more than we must please God.

Groeschel even wrote a book about this last year:

I haven't read it yet, but I hope to and that it will be a kick in the pants! ;)

So I've been thinking about this phrase lately, and particularly 2 certain passages that I would like to unload (if you are still reading, you might want to take this moment to get a cup of coffee or tea and/or snack, b/c this might take a while):

The first one is found in Numbers 16, Korah's rebellion. Korah and his posse rose up against Moses and Aaron because they were mad that Moses and Aaron were the favored ones and accused them of "exalting" themselves above the congregation, and Korah wanted to have the same rights as Moses and Aaron had. Korah even had the audacity to tell Moses and Aaron that they "had gone too far."

After Korah had said this, Moses immediately fell on his face out of reverence and literal fear of the Lord. It was almost like Moses was saying, "Do you think I thought this up?! Are you kidding me?!" So Moses said, simply put "Tomorrow morning the LORD will show who is His and who is holy, and bring near to Himself; even the one whom He will choose, He will bring to Himself." (vs 5) So the next morning, true to His word, the LORD showed up. Here in verses 28-35:

28 Then Moses said, “This is how you will know that the LORD has sent me to do all these things and that it was not my idea: 29 If these men die a natural death and suffer the fate of all mankind, then the LORD has not sent me. 30 But if the LORD brings about something totally new, and the earth opens its mouth and swallows them, with everything that belongs to them, and they go down alive into the realm of the dead, then you will know that these men have treated the LORD with contempt.” 31 As soon as he finished saying all this, the ground under them split apart 32 and the earth opened its mouth and swallowed them and their households, and all those associated with Korah, together with their possessions. 33 They went down alive into the realm of the dead, with everything they owned; the earth closed over them, and they perished and were gone from the community. 34 At their cries, all the Israelites around them fled, shouting, “The earth is going to swallow us too!” 35 And fire came out from the LORD and consumed the 250 men who were offering the incense.
Disturb me, Lord.

Then fast forward to the book of Ezekiel, chapter 8 Ezekiel is having another vision, things that were happening in the Temple:

⁶ And He said to me, “Son of man, do you see what they are doing—the utterly detestable things the Israelites are doing here, things that will drive Me far from my sanctuary?

12Then He said to me, "Son of man, do you see what the elders of the house of Israel are committing in the dark, each man in the room of his carved images? For they say, 'The LORD does not see us; the LORD has forsaken the land.'"

16Then He brought me into the inner court of the LORD'S house. And behold, at the entrance to the temple of the LORD, between the porch and the altar, were about twenty-five men with their backs to the temple of the LORD and their faces toward the east; and they were prostrating themselves eastward toward the sun.

17He said to me, "Do you see this, son of man? Is it too light a thing for the house of Judah to commit the abominations which they have committed here, that they have filled the land with violence and provoked Me repeatedly? For behold, they are putting the twig to their nose. 18"Therefore, I indeed will deal in wrath. My eye will have no pity nor will I spare; and though they cry in My ears with a loud voice, yet I will not listen to them."

Back in chapter 7:9 it is said by the Lord that "...how I have been hurt by their adulterous hearts which turned away from Me, and by their eyes, which have played the harlot after their idols;..."

So Ezekiel 9 is where the Lord starts cleaning house, starting with the leaders and elders of the temple (vs 9). And then in chapter 10 is the vision of God's glory departing from the temple- one of the saddest chapters in the whole Bible, in my book.

Disturb Me, Lord.

So how do these two incidents happen? Here are leaders in the church that miss it completely and judgment is taken- given to them what they deserve. But I think it is fair to say, that it didn't happen over night. Korah and his group clearly felt validated to voice their complaint. So what was it?

I am sure that it was a combination of things, but Hebrews 2:1 says "...we must pay much closer attention to what we have heard, lest we drift away from it."

John Piper has an excellent sermon on this verse and the verses surrounding it. Here's a snippet of what Piper says in this sermon:

"Hebrews says that if we do not vigilantly pay closer attention to the Word of God, we will float by—we will drift away from God's Word. We all know people that this has happened to. Some are in this room. Some are reading this sermon. There is no urgency. No vigilance. No focused listening or considering or fixing the eyes on Jesus. And the result has not been a standing still, but a drifting away.

That is the point here: there is no standing still. The life of this world is not a lake. It is a river. And it is flowing downward to destruction. If you do not listen earnestly to Jesus and consider him daily and fix your eyes on him hourly, then you will not stand still, you will go backward. You will float by.

Drifting is a deadly thing in the Christian life. And the remedy to it, according to Hebrews 1, is, "Pay close attention to what you have heard." That is, consider what God is saying in his Son Jesus. Fix your eyes on what God is saying and doing in the Son of God, Jesus Christ. This is not a hard stroke to learn so that we can swim against the stream of sin and indifference. The only thing that keeps us from swimming like this is our sinful desire to float with other interests. But let us not complain that God has given us a hard job. Listen, consider, fix the eyes—this is not what you would call a hard job description. It is not a job description. It is a solemn invitation to be satisfied in Jesus so that we do not get lured downstream by deceitful desires."

So, how do I do that? By daily being in the Word. By accountability- and being authentic and giving full permission to have the people closest to me to probe, prod, bring to light, keep no rock unturned, and not being afraid to ask those hard questions, so as to not drift away. Also, not to think that I am exempt from any sin and say "Oh, that will never happen to me!" That's red flag number one.

Above all, I need to allow Christ Himself to tell me over and over and over again until it seeps into the deepest of my being "I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing." John 15:5

My First Braai

2011-02-21T10:47:00.000+02:00

This past Saturday was my first opportunity to experience a South African Braai. A braai is a South African term for what we Americans know as cook out/grill out/barbecue. Braai is short for the Afrikaans word "braaivleis". There is actually a national "Braai" holiday on September 24 to have an excuse to cook out (sort of like our 4th of July). "Braai Day is a celebration of our great country and its unique national pastime. It aims to unite all South Africans on 24 September by encouraging them to partake in a fun and tangible activity shared by all demographic groups, religious denominations and body types." I was invited by someone who goes to my church and it was all the singles and a few other friends of the hostess. I was so excited to hang out and get to know some of the people that attend my church better. So what better way than with food?

Candi and Claudine hard at work in the kitchen. Candi is making some Braai Pap(pronounced like 'pop'), also a traditional thing to have at a braai. Pap is is a high grade coarse meal produced from the milling of degerminated maize. It is served usually with a tomato and onion sauce or chakalaka sauce, which is a spicy and is soo good, but let's just sauce, it was so hot, it made me sweat just a little, so it definitely has a kick to it! Glad I am used to Mexican food!

Classic scene: guys grilling out (or should I say braaing out), talking man talk while the ladies talk and eat the snacky foods!

Here I am with Bianca, Annabella, and Dominique (L to R). Bianca and Dominique are sisters and they are the ones I have gotten closest to so far. I am thankful for them! I just met Annabella that day and she has an awesome testimony! She is originally from Serbia, but came to South Africa as a refugee in 1994 from the civil war that was going on at that time.

And here's the whole crew! So great to getting to know the nationals here! It causes me to feel more at home, and for that I am thankful!

New Hairdo and a Cat Too!!

2011-02-17T16:42:00.000+02:00

So yesterday I did something that I've been wanting to do for a long time: get a short hair cut. Now if you've known me (especially in college), having short hair is nothing new to me. All throughout college I had short hair. Then, after I graduated, I wanted something new and so grew it out, and then had it shoulder length or right above it. But it's been a while since I've had it this short, so you sort of have to gear up for this sort of change. I went yesterday on my day off to a gal who I went to right after we got back from 40/40 and I always to have a consistent hairdresser to build a relationship. Sherri-lee is her name, and I walked VERY pleased with the outcome!

Here's the front

And here's the back!

It took over an hour to get this hair chopped off, styled, and thinned (so I won't have a fro! ;) )

When I got home after running a couple of errands, I was putting my things away and I found this in my flat:

The first thing I thought of was "My prayer has been answered!!" I love cats and would love one for company, while at the same time know very well that I cannot get one because I would neglect it (not purposefully, I just have a busy schedule) and I'm only here for a year and half longer, so what would I do with it after I leave?

So how did this one get into my flat? Well, on both doors to my flat (the front door and the door to the balcony) have the regular wooden door, as well as an iron gate that locks (sort of like a screen door). So usually during the day I keep the wooden doors open and just shut the iron gate to let a nice breeze come in. Well, come to find out my next door neighbors just got a kitten a couple of weeks ago for the 4 year old girl's birthday. Needless to say, the kitten got out and naturally ventured in my flat, as any curious kitten does! ;) I heard my neighbor calling out for it, so I told them that it was in my flat and the little 4 year old girl kept on calling it a "naughty kitten."

Look at it's beautiful markings!

So, I don't have a new cat and don't intend to get one, but I wouldn't mind if it ventured back to my flat in the future to say hi. :)

Happy Birthday Granddaddy!!

2011-02-10T15:12:00.000+02:00

A couple of days ago, February 8, my Granddaddy turned 89. It's hard to believe that he's 89 because I feel like it wasn't so long ago that we were celebrating his 80th birthday. My Granddaddy, Walter Floyd Mauritzen, has left a legacy to his sons, and to his grandchildren and now to his great-grandchildren. It reminds me of Psalm 71 where it says:

15 My mouth will tell of your righteous deeds,

of your saving acts all day long—

though I know not how to relate them all.

16 I will come and proclaim your mighty acts, Sovereign L*RD;

I will proclaim your righteous deeds, yours alone.

17 Since my youth, G*d, you have taught me,

and to this day I declare your marvelous deeds.

18 Even when I am old and gray,

do not forsake me, my G*d,

till I declare your power to the next generation,

your mighty acts to all who are to come.

Me with Granddaddy at my going away party

My Granddaddy wasn't too keen about me coming over to Africa at first. I truly do believe that was because he was concerned for his youngest(and single!) granddaughter's safety. It meant the world to me when he came to physically support me at my going away party in Waco. I hope I can make you proud, Granddaddy, as I pass on your legacy of faith and tell others about the all surpassing gift in Chr*st. I love you so much Granddaddy!!

Released

2011-01-31T11:19:00.000+02:00

Don't you love it when before you start reading the Word, you ask for the Spirit to give you illumination and to quicken your heart and mind for the things that He desires for you to get out of the Text and then He does it in most powerful way (without fail)?! The verses literally JUMP out of the page with blinking neon lights. I have been trucking through this reading plan that I started in August, where I read 10 chapters a day. I will be the first to admit I have not consistently every day since I've started, but I have tried and it's been a blessing. I enjoy the weekends because I have a chance to linger in the Word. I wanted to share the verse that jumped out to me on Saturday and I have been meditating, savoring, and allowing it to percolate ever since:

"and from Jesus Christ, the faithful witness, the firstborn of the dead, and the ruler of the kings of the earth. To Him who loves us and released us from our sins by His blood." Rev. 1:5

Released.

Once for all.

No longer in bondage.

Our good friend Webster defines released as:

–verb (used with object)

1. to free from confinement, bondage, obligation, pain, etc.; let go: to release a prisoner; to release someone from a debt.

2. to free from anything that restrains, fastens, etc.: to release a catapult.

3. to allow to be known, issued, done, or exhibited: to release an article for publication.

4. Law . to give up, relinquish, or surrender (a right, claim, etc.).

It is a concept that is explained quite frequently in the life of a Believer that one is not confined to the sin that so easily entangles us (Heb 12:1). It has no power in our lives- or it shouldn't. That's the reason why Paul says "It was for freedom that Chr*st set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery." (Gal 5:1) He said that because even then people were voluntarily returning and fastening those chains of slavery back on, after they had been set free. It's sometimes hard to "kick the habit" because that lingering sin has become a comfort, a friend- but of the most false kind. This "friend" will always in the end betray you in the end. And to know with full assurance that there is power in His blood to accomplish this impossible task- to release us from sin- that can only be made possible in His redemption and His deep love for us.

So it is my admonition for us to live like a redeemed one who has truly been released and to help others come to the realization and freedom of this concept. To live out Isaiah 61:1 "The Spirit of the L*rd G*D is upon me, because the LORD has anointed me to bring good news to the afflicted; He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to captives and freedom to prisoners"; the same ministry that our Savior had- what an honor and privilege!!

Lean Hard

2011-01-25T16:18:00.001+02:00

My friend, Kimberly, wrote a blog post last week about leaning into things that might take effort, time, and at times, more than pleasant conversations- aka confrontation (do you like the way that me, being non-confrontational at all costs, with the exception of edification, worded that?). It got me contemplating about things I need to lean into, as Kimbo worded it, "I am learning how to just push through the "wall" that is holding me back from being at the next step and just going for it" in the relationships and friendships that I am thankful for the Father putting in my path. I asking Him to redeem the time I have with each person I come into contact, for however long or short that may be. Working at the guest house, I sense that urgency, because while some folks might be "regulars" and pop in quite frequently to the guest house, sometimes I only have the 10 minute car ride from the airport to be intentional with that person/people that the Lord has graciously entrusted me with, for that appointed time and that's it- I might not ever see them again.

Along the same lines another thing caught my eye that has similar connotations. I just finished reading, Green Leaf in Drought, a challenging story of the lives of Arthur and Wilda Matthews, along with their young child, Lilah, and their experience as M's in China in the early 1950's and they modeled so well what it looked like to "lean hard". Such a great story of faith, endurance, integrity and love for the people of China, trying to get out of China in the midst or persecution and even on the edge of starvation and their story challenges me to imitate their faith. Their unwavering belief in the sovereignty of God is remarkable and the following poem gave them great comfort in the midst of the plethora of trials sent their way and truly lived out Romans 12:12 "rejoicing in hope, persevering in tribulation, devoted to prayer":

Child of My love, lean hard

And let Me feel the pressure of thy care,

I know thy burden child; I shaped it,

Poised in Mine own hand, made no proportion

In its weight to thine unaided strength;

For even as I laid it on I said,

"I shall be near, and while she leans on Me,

This burden shall be Mine, not hers;

So shall I keep My child within the circling arms,

Of Mine own love." Here lay it down, nor fear

To impose it on a shoulder which upholds

The government of worlds. Yet closer come,

Thou art not near enough, I would embrace thy care,

So I might feel My child reposing on My breast.

Thou lovest Me? I know it. Doubt not, then,

But, loving Me, lean hard.

SELECTED

Is that not beautiful?! So these two things I am dwelling on and seeing how to make it applicable to my life. Lean in- when it's inconvenient or you're not too sure how a conversation to start. I practiced this today and was thankful of the Spirit's prompting. There is a conference going on at the guest house last week, as well as this week and my supervisors have been in charge of fixing the lunch meal and so I help where ever I can and then get a free (and good!) meal out of. So I sat down at the table with some of my colleagues and then also a national from Lesotho that is attending the conference. He knows English quite well, but still is a little "shy" in using it. Well I sat down to eat after my colleagues did, so they were up to leave before I did, leaving me and the Lesotho national. So I could've either finished my meal quickly also and get up to leave, or I could try to engage and start up a conversation with him. I honestly thought "Suz, lean on in to it" so I did and starting asking about what the cultural, climate and people were like in Lesotho and he excitedly started explaining what it was all like, using hand motions and all. About 10-15 minutes later we were done and went our separate ways. My supervisor's wife mentioned that that was the most that she's heard him talk in the last week! Leaning into it might take some effort, but it also might not at all and both the giver and the receiver might be the benefactor of it.

Lean hard is also applicable when it seems like all around you gives way, but you know that Christ is your hope and stay (from Solid Rock) and to know that He has you so close that He only has to whisper to calm your anxious heart. I am so thankful for a God who allows things to happen because He knows that we should, "consider it all joy when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces and endurance and let that endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." (James1:2-4) As well as that "These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed." (1 Peter 1:7) So He does all things well and good and oh for grace to trust Him more as He allows trials to come our way, because He sees the grand scheme of things, where I do not.

So, it is my prayer for you and for me to have the courage to "lean in" and "lean hard" for His glory and reputation.

Christmas All Over Again (at least in the way of gifts)

2011-01-14T09:50:00.000+02:00

“Like cold water to a weary soul, so is good news from a distant land.” Proverbs 25:25

Ok, bear with me as I start on tangent that I think has something to do with this blog post (or at least in my mind):

I love mail-receiving AND giving. I think it is fair to say that if I have known you for any period of time, more than likely you have at least received one note from me. I can’t help myself or refrain from it. I am a words of affirmation girl and I am quick to give encouragement and it does wonders when I receive it. So whether it’s for a specific occasion (especially birthdays, which is always a BIG DEAL and the Hallmark Fresh Ink cards can thank me for keeping them in business) or a note just to let you know that I am praying and thinking of you- whether there is a crisis or if you’re just truckin’ through life. And to receive a note, even if it’s just on a post-it note- my heart sings! I have kept EVERY (and I mean every) note that I have received. I remember my sister literally prying from my fingers all the notes I had kept from high school (and maybe even from junior high) and telling me that it wasn’t necessary to keep ALL of them, just the most meaningful ones. How does one decide that?! So a note drenched in truth and the Word from anyone does more for me than any gift could ever do. And maybe that’s one of the plethora of reasons why His Word is such a treasure to me- because it’s like God’s love note, just for me. Both my sister and brother have the love language of gifts, so I know the importance of getting the “perfect gift,” but gifts in all honesty could never do what a note does for me.

With having said all that (and trying to connect with the rest of this post), in the last week, I received some delayed Christmas gifts. I loved opening them and the time, effort, expenses, care, prayer and thoughtfulness went into each one- and I think that’s what makes gifts so meaningful. I think that it is quite different from being in Africa, so the gifts are that much more appreciated. You better believe I took a picture of each package of the receivers, so if you will humor me as I present each one. :)

This first one came a couple of weeks ago. I didn’t readily recognize the name, Gary Steele. Then I had realized through talking with one of my friends, Lori, that it was from a member from her church, one of my sending churches. I had only met him once, so it meant much that he had thought of me, and even more to show that he was thinking (and undoubtedly praying) for me to send these goodies my way. I didn’t realized how much I missed wheat thins until I got this package!

The next one came this week from the Hall family, also from the same church. Now, I don’t believe that I have met them at all and yet, they sent this wonderful care package my way. Look at the array of delectable goodness (you better believe the first thing I did was to rip open those Oreos!)!

Here is also what was in the box- burst of affection everywhere (as my friend Abbey would say)!!

This last one came from my family and I have anxiously been awaiting what amounted into two packages. I gave them a list of things that are not readily available (either not at all, or if we do have it, it costs three times as it does in the States b/c it was imported in) and so they stuffed every nook and cranny in two boxes. And when I opened them, I instantly knew what was from whom: the trendy stocking was from my sister-in-law and brother; the practical stuff and iTunes gift cards were from my parents and my pajamas are from my sister, as well as other things. Also, they each had a note, which I always tear up at from my sister as well as from my brother and sister-in-law, and did you notice the red bird on front of my parent’s card- they know me well! ;) It is so great to have some comfort foods and items that make me feel more at home.

I am deeply grateful for every thought, prayer, note and package that is sent on my behalf while I am on the other side of the pond. It means more to me than ever before and reminds me to be mindful to do the same on other’s behalf. The smallest gesture can make the biggest difference.

Love deeply, from the heart

2011-01-12T15:03:00.000+02:00

Love is no easy task. It takes time, effort, discipline, and a score of other things, but reaps the most benefits- to both the giver and receiver, and ultimately not an ounce of our own doing, but all of Christ. Any other motivation will result in utter failure. Peter admonishes us in 1 Peter "Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for each other, love one another deeply, from the heart." The author of the book of Hebrews recalls Jeremiah 31 and quotes the LORD Himself: "I will put my laws upon their hearts and upon their mind I will write." And when He writes those laws on our hearts, sometimes He has to chisel them in!

I read John Piper's blog about "Loving Someone Into Lovability" and "a wonderful and mysterious power in bending the vertical doctrine of justification out horizontally and “regarding as good” the people we want to see become good." How does one go into a room of 25 people and love each one equally, without preference over one above another, and to care for each so deeply that if one wanders away from the truth, to bring him back (James 5)? Whew! Once again, I know that it has to be Jesus Christ Himself and being led by the Spirit to accomplish this God-sized task.

Andrew Murray states in his wonderful book "Teach Me to Pray": [Jesus] now wants to lead us into His own blessed experience that nothing gives such liberty of access and such power in believing as the consciousness that we have given ourselves in love and compassion for those whom God loves."

So, I end with another Andrew Murray quote from his book "Abiding in Christ" with an intent desire to live out my life to the following, for His glory and reputation:

"Let the vow, that not an unkind word about others will ever be heard from our lips, be laid trustingly at His feet. Let the gentleness that refuses to take offense, that is always ready to excuse, to think and hope the best, mark our dealings with all. Let the love that seeks not its own, but ever is ready to wash others’ feet, or even to give its life for them, be our aim as we abide in Jesus. Let our life be one of self-sacrifice, always studying the welfare of others, finding our highest joy in blessing others. And let us, in studying the divine art of doing good, yield ourselves as obedient learners to the guidance of the Holy Spirit. By His grace, the most commonplace life can be transfigured with the brightness of heavenly beauty, as the infinite love of the divine nature shines out through our frail humanity. Fellow Christian, let us praise God! We are called to love as Jesus loves, as God loves."

Remember, Remember, Remember!!!- Reflections on 2010

2010-12-31T23:29:00.000+02:00

I remember this time last year the Lord impressing on me the word “New”. I knew that changes would finally be in the making and the main verses were in Isaiah 42:

5Thus says God the LORD,

Who created the heavens and stretched them out,

Who spread out the earth and its offspring,

Who gives breath to the people on it

And spirit to those who walk in it,

6"I am the LORD, I have called You in righteousness,

I will also hold You by the hand and watch over You,

And I will appoint You as a covenant to the people,

As a light to the nations,

7To open blind eyes,

To bring out prisoners from the dungeon

And those who dwell in darkness from the prison.

8"I am the LORD, that is My name;

I will not give My glory to another,

Nor My praise to graven images.

9"Behold, the former things have come to pass,

Now I declare new things;

Before they spring forth I proclaim them to you."

10Sing to the LORD a new song,

Sing His praise from the end of the earth!

You who go down to the sea, and all that is in it

You islands, and those who dwell on them.

11Let the wilderness and its cities lift up their voices,

The settlements where Kedar inhabits

Let the inhabitants of Sela sing aloud,

Let them shout for joy from the tops of the mountains.

12Let them give glory to the LORD

And declare His praise in the coastlands.

13The LORD will go forth like a warrior,

He will arouse His zeal like a man of war

He will utter a shout, yes, He will raise a war cry

He will prevail against His enemies.

I know that the context of this verse is talking about the long-awaited Messiah, who is Jesus, but I want to be about my Savior’s business, so why not this be for me too?

What a year that 2010 proved to be, and the Lord has responded and been faithful every step of the way. I dare say that this has been the biggest year since I graduated from college in 2004, and maybe even more so than that. I was decisively moving ahead to the unknown and taking risks (and I am one that needs a coercing at times!) because of Christ love that compels me to follow Him, whatever the cost. Here are just skimming the surface of a recap of the year- to God be the glory!!

Along the way and beside me have been and continue to cheer me on, speaking truth and identity into my life. I think the first thing that pops up in my mind is an OVERWHELMING gratefulness of the people He has put into my life. I mean, are you kidding me?!! I am surrounded by giants of faith, faithfully running their leg of their race, and yet, they still have time to encourage me in the midst of it. He gives and He gives and He gives!

Dear Pine Cove Registration & Marketing Ladies

This was at my going away dinner- at Olive Garden- which I miss so much!

In January I attended World Mandate, my second time to attend. It got me pumped up to go to the nations and confirmed my desire to go- there was such an urgency to be obedient to the calling He has on my life! It's so weird to think that at the beginning of 2010 there was still so much uncertainty and now at the end of the year I am in South Africa and exactly where I need to be!

February I went to the job conference. It was an intense weekend and I had gotten a terrible head cold that weekend, but God was faithful!

A dear friend that I had met that weekend!

Fast forward to May and here I am moving away from my beloved community, Pine Cove. I had worked there for nearly six years and this community was like my family. I grew so much within those six years, and that was largely due to amazing bosses who saw my giftings and provided me opportunities (and challenges) to grow in them/

Jenn & Darcie seeing me off!

Now fast forward to the end of July and I am now at orientation and had an amazing eight weeks with like-minded people and now are all over the globe to the glory of Christ! What a privilege!!

We have an amazing group of people in Africa!!

At orientation I also met some dear dear friends and know without a shadow of a doubt that we will be life-long friends! It's so comforting to know that we are in this (still) transitional phase and just to be understood is just, well, magical! :)

Grace, Abbey & Kelsey- kindred spirits indeed!

Now fast forward to October (Everything is going as fast as I felt like it actually felt- too fast at times! But time doesn't listen and slow down, does it? Believe me- I've tried!). Saying goodbyes- I don't think it will ever get easy...

You see how torn up I was to say goodbye to my nephew and nieces? I tear up now just thinking about how they are growing up without me! But, skype is a beautiful thing that I am VERY thankful for!!

Here is the Guest House that I serve at

Now fast forward a few weeks to the end of October through November and now we have our orientation in West Africa. It was hard and rewarding all at the same time.

Our team with our translators

Now fast forward to Christmas and here are some dear friends of who I spent my first Christmas away from the States.

So much fun and memorable!

So, like I said, just skimming the surface! I am now awaiting 2011 and am asking that the Lord give me vision as to what this upcoming is going to look like for God's glory and reputation. The Lord has been bringing to mind Ephesians 2:10:

"For we are are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them."

What freedom that brings me, knowing that I was created for good works and that I should just be sensitive to the Spirit's leading to walk in them. Oh what freedom and liberty it is because it's not contingent on me, but on God and I just have to be obedient!

I'll end with another prayer from The Valley of Vision titled "Year's End":

"O Love beyond compare,
Thou art good when thou givest,
when thou takest away,
when the sun shines upon me,
when night gathers over me.
Thou hast loved me before the foundation of the world
and in love didst redeem my soul;
Thou dost love me still,
in spite of my hard heart, ingratitude, distrust,
Thy goodness has been with me during another year,
leading me through a twisting wilderness,
in retreat helping me to advance,
when beaten back making sure headway.
Thy goodness will be with me in the year ahead;
I hoist said and draw up anchor,
With thee that thou hast veiled my eyes to the waters ahead.
If thou hast appointed storms of tribulation,
thou wilt be with me in them;
If I have to pass through tempests of persecution and temptation,
I shall not drown;
If I am to die, I shall see thy face the sooner;
If a painful end is to be my lot,
grant me grace that my faith fail not;
If I am to be cast aside from the service I love,
I can make no stipulation;
Only glorify thyself in me whether in comfort or trial,
as a chosen vessel meet always for thy use."

Blyde River Canyon

2010-12-29T16:59:00.000+02:00

Here's our crew: Kristin, Deborah, me, Lori, JD & Todd- over half of our quad at orientation! The others were missed!

The day after Christmas we all loaded in JD's truck to Blyde River Canyon. This was my first actual touristy thing to do since I've been in South Africa, so I had high hopes, which were definitely met! We just barely skimmed the surface, but it makes me excited to return for a longer stay in the future to soak up the beauty of it all.

In the background is possibly the best view in the whole of the Blyde River Canyon is of the "Three Rondavels", huge, round rocks, thought to be reminiscent of the houses or huts of the indigenous people, known as rondavels.

Rebel without a clue, folks! :)

This is also at Bourke's Potholes. I was intrigued with the big boulder rocks that are so smooth because of the water passing through and was reminded of the song "River God" by Nicole Nordeman. This song was my theme song towards the end of 2008, when things were uncertain as to what my future would hold, as unwelcomed transition(at least in my opinion) was happening at Pine Cove. It was definitely a refining time, but it was my hope that after it all that I would be a little smoother, like these rocks, in the Potter's hands.

At the meeting point of the Blyde and Treur Rivers, water erosion has formed remarkable geological phenomena, otherwise known as the Bourke's Luck Potholes. These abstracted rock sculptures have been carved from centuries of swirling soil-laden water. These smooth rocks, streaked in white and yellow, frame dark pools of water under which invisible fish swim, their colour silenced by the thick blue surface.

This location is right beside the Lisbon Falls, a 90 meters high waterfall. The mountains in the background was so beautiful that it looked like the scene from Sound of Music. So Kristin and I took advantage of the moment and twirled around until we were dizzy, singing "The hills are alive, with the sound of music!" The weather didn't get above the mid-60's that day and it was misting the majority of the day. Some commented that the landscape and weather made it seem a lot like Scotland (I have never been there, so I took their word for it!)

Another beautiful waterfall- I can't remember which location this was at, but fascinating all the same!

This canyon is part of the famous Panorama route

A Different Kind of Christmas

2010-12-28T20:15:00.000+02:00

It was a different sort of Christmas. Not a bad one, but just an expected Christmas and a first one away from home. Next to birthdays, Christmas is our biggest to celebrate. I suppose it was to my advantage that it was a whole new scenery and a chance to make new traditions.

What meant a lot to me was the thoughtfulness of other colleagues knowing that the first Christmas away from home would be hard, so whether it was a goodie bag of things from the U.S., a card, or candy, a lot of people went out of their way to acknowledge that they "understand" because they had once been there too, and that blessed me tremendously.

We started on Christmas Eve day to start the festivities. All the single folk got invited to a couple's house for breakfast and they had a feast of coffee (with flavored creamer- clearly a rarity in South Africa), cinnamon rolls, eggs, homemade biscuits with gravy and more!

Here is the table decked out with Christmas cheer!

Here is their dog Zoe, not too thrilled to be dressed up as a reindeer!

So because I ate so much, I didn't even think to eat lunch, because I knew that I would be eating again at my supervisor's house!

Here we are with all the traditional Christmas fixin's- turkey, cranberry sauce, broccoli and cheese casserole, green bean casserole (though not like how my family makes it, but still good!), rolls with honey butter and more!

The next morning, Kristin and I got in the car and I drove, for the first time, outside of Johannesburg city limits to meet up with some friends from orientation. I was a little nervous, not because of the driving part, but because of going somewhere that I hadn't been before and I just didn't want to get lost. We got there okay and only got turned around once! :)

It was so great to see everyone and all of us had no idea how much we needed this. Even though we've only known each other for five months, there is such a bond there because of all the new experiences and transitions we have gone through within the last year. I remember at orientation speakers and others saying that these are the people that we will keep in close contact with for the rest of our lives, and now I think I finally understand why/how that statement is true.

For dinner we went to a river close-by to JD & Lori's house and grilled/cooked out (in South Africa they call this a "Braai"). It was rather windy and the sky looked threatening of rain at any moment, so we ended up grilling the meat and eating indoors as we watched Christmas Vacation.

Here are the guys, Todd & JD

And here are the lovely ladies (being wind-blown!)

We had an amazing sunset!

Cue the Lion King's "Circle of Life":

"Nants ingonyama bagithi Baba

Sithi uhm ingonyama"

This is the river we were attempting to grill out at- beautiful!

JD grilling the meat

I made my classic snacks to share with everyone. It is interesting that everything I made had to have substitutes because they don't have the ingredients/items that America has that makes things so convenient that I will not take for granted when I return to the U.S. Here are the things I had to substitute:

For my peanut butter bars- they don't have graham crackers here, so I just use one of their "biscuits" aka cookies and it really doesn't make a notable difference.

Sausage Balls- I brought Bisquick with me- anyone who has lived with me knows how much I use Bisquick! What they don't have is sausage meat, like Jimmy Deans (though they do have sausage links). So I used some sausage seasoning and put it on ground beef. Everyone told me they couldn't tell a difference!

Monkey Bread- They also don't have the refrigerated biscuit dough that you can get from Pillsbury. But they do have in the stores here in Jo'burg is that they just sell dough that you can buy. So that was easy just to cut it up just like the biscuits.

So all in all, it was a very good day. We celebrated together, exchanged gifts and had some amazing food. But most of all, we celebrate a Savior that was born to die in our place. As Robert Benson puts it so wonderfully in "Living Prayer":

"You have caused this holy night to shine with the brightness of the true Light…You have given Your Son to be born this day,’ we pray in wonder. Christmas is upon us and we discover that this new thing that we could not perceive is a child like us. It is enough to send us all dancing and singing into the streets every year, sending greetings to strangers and giving money to the poor and offering gifts to those we love. The Light itself has come and we feel compelled to do our part to honor it and make it shine just as much and for as long as we can."

Retreating

2010-12-20T22:31:00.000+02:00

Last year I was given a copy of a book that was published containing the contents of a convention that was held named “Student Volunteer Moment of Foreign Missions” that was held in 1906, 105 years ago!!! From what I’ve read it is just really fascinating to see the passion of a group of students desiring to reach the world for Christ. It also confirms that I’m not the first to do anything really, in light of evangelism, revival and a desire to go to the nations. With all the students that are there, I imagine the majority, if not all of them are now in heaven and beholding the face of the One who they committed their very lives to while on this earth. There was something that was written while I was skimming and it was this:

“There is also the sin of omitting to keep near Christ. There are many hungry people here. The most pathetic fact there could be in connection with this Convention would be to come together from the ends of the earth to lay plans to distribute the Bread of Life all over the world, and then to go forth to do our work with emaciated hands because we ourselves are starving. May the sin of omitting to feed upon Christ by right habits of meditation and Bible study come to an end in this opening session.”

That quote really stuck with me this past week, so last weekend I made the decisive decision to take a retreat…in my flat. I resorted to being intentional to getting some much needed alone time and solitude. And while I did get out a couple of times to be social, the majority of the weekend was a long awaited appointment/date with my Lord. I realized that it’s already been two months since I’ve been here and I literally feel like I just got here yesterday (though I do admit that at some moments it feels like I’ve been here much longer). At orientation at the very beginning and then towards the end we took a spiritual retreat and the leadership emphasized and modeled the need to get away from the hustle and bustle of life every so often. It was said that “Your call will take you to the mission field; it's only your daily walk with the Lord that will keep you there.” And sometimes within that daily walk needs to be an extended time with the Father so that He Himself can dig into the recesses of soul and get to the root of the issues that He wants to surface and uncover and it’s just not possible to do it within a 45 minute- hour’s worth of time.

Dallas Willard states it beautifully in The Spirit of the Disciplines, “Solitude frees us actually. This above all explains its primacy and priority among the disciplines. The normal course of day-today human interaction locks us into patterns of feeling, thought, and action that are geared to a world set against God. Nothing but solitude can allow the development of a freedom from the ingrained behaviors that hinder our integration into God’s order (pg 160).” Robert Benson in Living Prayer also put it this way: “I need time to listen, to examine, and to confess, time to take off some hats I wear. I need time to listen for the Voice, if for no other reason than so I will recognize it more clearly in the ways it speaks into the noise and bustle of life I lead (Pg 98).”

So what did I do? I read and feasted on the Word, prayed, listened, spent a lot of time in silence because “only silence will allow us life-transforming concentration upon God. It allows us to hear the gentle God whose only Son ‘shall not strive, nor cry; neither shall any man hear His voice above the street noise’ (Matt. 12:19). It is this God who tells us that ‘in quietness and trust is your strength’ (Isa. 30:15)” (Willard, pg 164). I sang, I cried, I laughed and a lot of other emotions. I read other books and prayed some more. I didn’t know how much I needed it until I actually did it. And that happens a lot to me- I use the analogy of someone offering me a glass of water to drink. I shrug my shoulders and say, “Sure, I guess I’m a little thirsty.” But when I starting drinking it, I drink it in one gulp because I wasn’t aware that I was that thirsty and/or dehydrated. It was only then did I fully appreciate am very thankful for the Spirit drawing me to do this very thing.

When was the last time you withdrew from the world for an extended period of time? If it’s been a while (or never), I encourage/challenge you to do it as this year draws to a close and a new one begins. It is possible and even though the silence of being by your self can be deafening at times, it is good for the mind, body and soul and you will be rewarded for being in the presence of and having the attention of the “Audience of One.” Trust me, you’ll be glad you did!

I will end with another quote from the Missions Convention that I mentioned at the beginning of this blog post. This was the over-arching prayer for the Convention:

The spirit of teachableness- Let my mind be hospitable to truth.
The spirit of helpfulness- “What wilt Thou have me to do?”
The spirit of intercession- This is the most urgent need for these days of vision and opportunity.
The spirit of expectancy- As we have a great God with inexhaustible resources let us have great faith.
The spirit of magnanimity- Let me rise above petty fault-finding and become absorbed with the great interests of the Kingdom.
The spirit of hopefulness- It is possible to become strongest where I am now weakest.
The spirit of humility- It is possible that I may become weakest where I am now strongest.

“Do not pray for tasks equal to your powers; pray for powers equal to your tasks.”

Please Pray for the Piatts

2010-12-15T10:09:00.004+02:00

This is the Piatts at Titus' baby dedication in November 2010

My heart is actually really heavy today- sorrowful yet always rejoicing. I got word yesterday that one of my college friends, Michael Piatt, lost his battle with brain cancer on Sunday and my heart is breaking for his beautiful and sweet wife, Brooke. Let me give a small recap:

Michael & Brooke were really involved with the BSM (like I was) and are 2 years younger than I am. Well, Brooke and I had an instant connection b/c Brooke also has a boy-twin and we loved sharing that in common (and her twin went to college with us too, btw). My twin brother, Cory, discipled Michael and a group of guys their age and really had a lasting impact on their lives. Michael & Brooke were high school sweethearts and they ended up getting married after they graduated in June 2006. Six months later, Michael got diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor. Though it was brutal he got through the surgeries and with chemo and radiation and was actually in remission for at least a little while. Michael was in my brother's wedding last August- it was such a sweet testimony that Michael gave on how much Cory's life impacted his own. Brooke got pregnant and the tumor came back. Brooke gave birth to a precious baby boy, Titus Michael, in August of this year and looks SO much like Michael. Things were looking bleak these last couple of months and knew the time would be coming soon when Michael would get to do what we all long to do- see our Savior face to face. He went into hospice care Dec 2 and on Dec 12 he went to be with the Lord. My brother is a lot closer to the Piatts he is going to the funeral on Wednesday (the 15th). And on top of this all, Brooke had lost her dad to cancer the year before. So please pray for Brooke (and her whole family) b/c nothing can really prepare you to be a widow at the age of 26, as well as a single mom of a 15 week old. Her faith has been strong through it all and she has an amazing support of friends and family. I am sad not to be at the funeral, b/c it has always been a rule of mine that I have been told- you can miss a wedding, but never miss a funeral, b/c those are the times when you need people the most. So it's hard not to be there, though I told Cory to be sure to send Brooke my condolences. Please join me in praying for Brooke now and in the days ahead.

Calvary's Anthem

2010-12-09T09:56:00.006+02:00

This is another prayer from "The Valley of Vision" titled "Calvary's Anthem" that I have been fixated on for about the last week. It seems to sum up my longings as of late and complete gratitude for the hope that I have. The phrase "For my soul was never created to love the dust of earth" strikes a cord to the deep recesses of my soul and reminds me once more that I am a sorjourner on this earth. While just passsing through, I pray that my life would count for the glory and reputation of Christ. Enjoy and remember His great love for His children!

Heavenly Father,
Thou hast led me singing to the cross
Where I fling down all my burdens and see them vanish,
Where my mountains of guilt are leveled to a plain,
Where my sins disappear, though they are the greatest that exist,
And are more in number than the grains of fine sand;

For there is power in the blood of Calvary
To destroy sins more than can be counted
Even by one from the choir of heaven.
Thou hast given me a hill-side spring
That washes clear and white,
And I go as a sinner to its waters,
Bathing without hindrance in its crystal streams.
At the cross there is free forgiveness for poor and meek ones,
And ample blessings that last forever;
The blood of the Lamb is like a great river of infinite grace
With never any diminishing of its dullness
As thirsty ones without number drink of it.

O Lord, forever will Thy free forgiveness live
That was gained on the mount of blood;
In the midst of a world of pain
It is a subject for praise in every place
A song on earth, an anthem in heaven,
Its love and virtue knowing no end.
I have a longing for the world above
Where multitudes sing the great song,
For my soul was never created to love the dust of earth.
Though here my spiritual state is frail and poor,
I shall go on singing Calvary’s anthem.
May I always know
That a clean heart full of goodness
Is more beautiful than the lily,
That only a clean heart can sing by night and by day,
That such a heart is mine when I abide at Calvary.

Happenings in Jo'Burg

2010-12-09T09:11:00.005+02:00

I am now getting settled into my flat and becoming more and more familiar with the area I live in and have some sort of routine, which I enjoy. :)

Emily is in from Kenya doing training for her job, so she and Kristin came over for dinner one night. They brought pretty roses, which made me so happy because the roses reminded me of Tyler roses, and Tyler is the rose capital of the world.

Here Kristin got artistic- isn’t it just beautiful?!

Last weekend I got to go to my first market and game park. We didn’t see as much wildlife due to coming in the afternoon, but we did see Impala, Wildebeest, Zebra, Eland, and Rhino, among others. Here is the Eland, which is the largest among the antelope family about to run right in front of our car.

And here is one of my red birds that I have been looking for! This is a red bishop.

This is for my friend Abbey, because she loves clouds and it made me think of her. :)

Earlier this week we went to this fancy restaurant called the Carnivore where for a flat rate (and for a pretty penny- or should I say rand- the S. African currency) you get unlimited meat of various animals.

Here is the menu they had for that particular night

I have loved having Emily here and am already trying to figure out how to get her to Jo’burg to stay permanently- I thoroughly enjoy her company!

Ok, this is really funny. Kristin was the first at our able to get anything served. These guys would just walk around with slabs of meat and calling out the name of the meat and you could decide whether or not to get that particular meat, but Kristin wasn’t given the opportunity to decline. So, here is a plate of rejected meat piling up for the reason of not being able to say no!

Here are the remains of my plate. My top 3 favorite meat of the night were impala, kudu, and zebra. I definitely had my protein intake for the week!

The flag down meant we as a table were done- a flag of surrender, I guess you could say.

Yummy vanilla ice cream with a wafer heart

You have to watch out for those Hippos- they don’t play around!

We also had a Christmas night where we baked cookies, made Christmas Blend Coffee, and watched White Christmas-. It was delightful!

Here are the yummy cookies we made from scratch

And the desired Christmas Blend that Grace so graciously sent me in a package- she's a jewel!

Here is my Charlie Brown Christmas tree for this year!

Twilight Zone...sort of

2010-12-09T09:05:00.002+02:00

One of my colleagues, Todd, mentioned after being in Jo’burg for a couple of days, that Jo’burg feels a little like a twilight zone. On the surface, everything looks a lot like the United States: there are shopping malls, restaurants, grocery stores, movie theaters, etc. But if you look in a little bit closer, things are not quite right. Below are some examples. I will make a disclaimer before I begin to say that just because things that are done here are different from the States or vice versa, does not make the way things are done in the States right and South Africa wrong, it’s just that I have to get used to doing it the South African way, thus it being a little off in my mind:

- People driving on the other side of the road (notice I didn’t say the wrong side of the road, just the other side)
- A shopping mall that has grocery stores in them, so you can take the shopping cart all around the two-story mall to have a means to carry all your items around
- On the television you see a sport that looks a little like baseball, but wait… it’s actually Cricket, which it seems like I’ll never begin to understand
- A girl came to my door not selling Girl Scout cookies (though I wish), but instead jewelry
- We have Christmas décor up everywhere, yet the weather is in the upper 70’s, low 80’s

There are others, but these are just to name a few. I am getting adjusted well, (I think!) and it is starting to feel like home. Now I am looking at churches and ministries to get involved in where and hope to find somewhere to serve soon!

Here's me and Riemersma on the Mozambique peeps last night in Jo'burg. Miss her already!!

40/40 Song and African Blessing

2010-12-05T20:02:00.002+02:00

I wanted to share our 40/40 song that we made up, starting in Ghana. Originally we had a happy camper song and a giraffe to give to someone at the end of each day as a day of recognition and encouragement for what was displayed in that particular person’s life and was given this giraffe to keep until the next day and then that person would be in charge of choosing the next person the following day. I’m such a words of affirmation girl and so I enjoyed affirming a new person every day. But I have to be honest, the original song was…well…lacking (Even from someone who is used to rather cheesy camp songs). So when we got to Ghana, Susan, made up new lyrics, based on our experience. So even though I know that some of these lines you might not understand, you’ll get the gist and see that we had a little too much fun with making up the lyrics.

We are here at BMC (or We all stayed at BMC)
Tryin' to stay malaria free.

Met a chief got a kola nut
Got to sit inside his hut.

No A/C is not much fun
But we're sharing Christ with everyone.

Taxis from Mercedes cars
Chickens hung from handle bars.

Life is very different here
Just don't drink the millet beer!

Guinea fowl and foo-foo stew
Sent a person to the loo.

Sunday went to church to see
If it's legit or heresy.

Riding on a broken-down bus
Praying that it won't kill us.

Brad had warned us it was true
Everything that Scott would do.

'Cause Scott reminds us everyday
"You can't get out of your homestay!"

Josh will cheat at playing cards
JD likes to preach in bars.

Marriage proposals every day
I'll pack my bags and move away

Two girls in the house were locked
Could not hear them when they knocked.

Finally called Bob on the phone,
"Someone let us out!", they moaned.

J.D. opened a yoghurt
With a knife which got him hurt.

Sliced his finger, boy it bled,
Feelin' woozy in his head.

Grinning Erin made a fuss
In case he lost all consciousness.

Augustino says that we're all black
But all the children yell, 'la blanc!'

Homestays were more than we could bear
Now we all need member care.

Language skills we can't resist
So we all will become linguists.

Soritel has been so cool,
A/C, wireless, and a pool.

Cherry was the greatest nurse
Is how we're going to end this verse.

(The one I contributed was the lines about the church and the broken-down bus).

Here is a picture of us girls and with Cherry, who came as our nurse. She was a God-sent and we all were VERY thankful she was there. She grew up in Ghana and her father actually founded the Baptist Medical Center. She took great care of us, not just physically, but also mentally, spiritually and emotionally. She is such a servant and I am grateful to know her!

I also wanted to be sure to put a picture of precious Faith. Faith is just about to turn two and she was the only kid during our orientation in West Africa. She was a trooper and overall did very well. It was hard for us, but imagine how it must’ve been for her! We all loved being called her aunts and kudos to her parents for hanging in there, because they did amazing in the midst of the challenges.

Here is also an African Blessing that was read to us towards the end of 40/40 and it is humorous how much we could already relate! Also, one of the “M” prayers that I also learned to pray was, “Lord, I’ll put it down, if You keep it down!”

An African Blessing
By Sandy Emery, MK Education Consultant, West Africa (Dec/04)

May the potholes rise up to meet you
May the dust always be at your back
May your face be protected from the sun’s harsh rays
And rains fall in season upon your people’s crops
And until we meet again,
May God minimize your culture stress.

May the roof of your house leak in just one place
May the electricity stay on while washing and cooking
May you occasionally have telephone & internet connections
And your water pipes flow free and clear
And until we meet again,
May God keep your vehicle running for one more term.

May your fruits and veggies be free of bugs
May your amoebas be an endangered species
May your malaria prophylaxis work without side effects
And your geckos be healthy and well nourished
And until we meet again,
May God bless the inventor of chlorine bleach.

May your door locks always work
May the beggars just smile and wave
May your house help break a few less objects
And your purse be empty when stolen
And until we meet again,
May God keep your guard awake all night long.

May your people group rise to the Savior
For the Truth may they always come back
May the Son embrace and encourage you
And God reign in the hearts of all men
And until we meet again,
May God show you the fruit of your labor.

Homestay in Ghana

2010-12-04T19:47:00.004+02:00

On Friday we each got in our groups to go to our various home stays. We had been told that this portion of our orientation would most likely be the hardest, but also the most rewarding. That was correct! The home stay that Jessica, Sally and I went to was in the home of the Pastor Issifu and we experienced true hospitality.

One of the first things that Pastor Issifu asked us was how old Jessica, Sally, and I were. I was the oldest, which in their village is a means of honor and respect, so if there was a decision to make or an opinion from the group, I was the deciding factor, so I got to work on my assertiveness. :)

One of the first things that Issifu did was present us with a turkey to give us in our honor. We would be eating that turkey over the course of the weekend and it was good! I attempted to explain Thanksgiving and the tradition to eat turkey and how excited that I was eating it early!

The main objective of the home stay was to see and do what Africans do on a day in and day out basis and join them in it. It was really difficult for the Africans to not treat us as guests. They really never had whites come and stay more than one night with them, so they truly considered it an honor and we were honored to be there! So one of the things that we did was go to his 23 acre field and harvest his bambara beans (a lot like what we would think as chick peas)that grows in the ground. So we got our hands dirty and helped take the beans off the stalk in the shade. It was an easy task and in 5 hours helped harvest a third of the crop, so I was glad to help and Issifu was grateful. We talked, laughed, sang and whistled while we worked.

Here is Issifu and his son, Wantima. Issifu really has a remarkably story. He grew up M*slim and one day when day in his twenties the Spirit literally drew him. Issifu knew a white man was coming about once a week preaching the gospel. So he asked his father if he could take off half a day to hear him preach and his father consented (though a M*slim). And since faith comes by hearing, once he heard, Issifu believed and the Lord has used him mightily ever since. He became a pastor of Zagnuiriyoya Baptist Church which means (door has opened) in Mampuli. Despite hardships and opposition in a predominantly M*slim family and community, Issifu continues to preach sound doctrine of Christ in season and out of season and is well respected in the community to the glory of Christ.

Ok, here is a picture I just had to take and share- my train of thought is random, so bear with me. :) I was on a motorbike (a whole other story that I will not divulge in now) and we were heading towards this water. I don’t know why, but I instinctively closed my eyes (as if to make this situation disappear). ,We actually did not ride through the water though, to my relief. The other thought I simultaneously had was I was envisioning the scene in “Return to Snowy River” how the handsome Jim Craig was coming down a steep embankment on his horse and effortlessly galloped along through the water. But instead of horses, there is a motorbike and instead of a mountain, there are palm trees. Like I said random, but just thought my readers might enjoy an inside look to my vivid imagination. :)

Here is a picture of Issifu with his wife, Mimona, and their sons, Wantima and Stephen. Even though Issifu is a believer, with a M*slim background, it is very important to have sons, to pass on the family name and to take care of the family, should anything happen to the father. Issifu and Mimona have seven children- 5 girls and 2 boys. Wantima is fifth in birth order and his name in Mampuli means “God has provided for me(us)”. I loved seeing this precious family interact and to see Mimona tirelessly serve us and care for her home. It was also fun to see her warm up to us over the course of the three days we were there.

Here is the outside of the church. Every night that we were there, there was something going on at the church- Bible study, youth meeting, or prayer meeting- and they always had drums going and dancing going on- I loved it! The church was just outside of Issifu’s compound, so you could always hear when the party got started.

Here is Jessica joining in to the dancing time. Jessica is amazing and always eager to get involved.

Here is my mosquito net and mattress that I slept on. The roof of our room was tin, so it made it quite hot in there, even at night (even for me!). You know that it was bad, when we got back to the hotel in Ouaga after our home stay and we are sitting by the pool outside and I mention how cool it was outside. Then someone replied, “Suzanne, it’s 93 degrees outside.” :) I guess it’s all in the perspective you look at.

Here is the inside of Issifu’s compound.

At church, since I was the elder of the group, I introduced ourselves, as well as our other guests- Bob, Linda, and Cherry that joined us that morning for church. At the end of the service, they had Jessica, Sally, and I come up to the front and presented us with gifts- they made a dress like this for each one of us in appreciation for us coming. Man oh man, the whole community was just so generous!

Here is another picture I had to include of Wantima. I just adore this ten year old boy and the joy he possesses.

I’m sad that this picture is blurry, but here is a picture of me and Jessica with Wantima, Julianna and Sun-yi. Wantima and Julianna knows English really well, and while Sun-yi didn’t, it was still great to hang out with them. I know that we would be good friends, if we were in the same town!
So overall the home stay was a success, even in the midst of living in primitive conditions. The people in the community were so beautiful and I am glad to have had the experience (though also thankful for a hot shower afterwards at the hotel).

From Darkness to Light

2010-11-30T10:50:00.004+02:00

It seemed too simple. Was it actually true that I witnessed someone come from death to life? That this man’s eternity was now sealed and his name penned in the Book of Life? With Augustino’s, our translator, guidance, we met with one of the sub-chief’s in the village. His name is Sabana. Our DFA was to ask about the role of traditional healer’s had in the community. His father and grandfather were actually traditional healers, but that practice had basically died with them because with the Baptist Medical Center being in the village, there is no need to turn to those old practices that didn’t work. Ramona boldly asked if we could share some things from the Bible. He mentioned that his older sister is a Christian and attends the same church as Augustino and so that would be fine. So Ramona did the first part of Creation to Christ and I did the last part, starting with the introduction to Jesus. At the end I asked if he wanted to go through Jesus to have the restored relationship with God. His response was an African proverb telling us that if there are four siblings and the first two go to church then the others will follow. Augustino explaining later that meant he was following us in the way of Christ. Right before we left, Sabana exclaimed that he was the happiest out of all of us! I prayed for him at the end for discipleship, wisdom and understanding of the things of the Word. Sabana has such influence on his community and he could advance the kingdom in his realm of influence as a sub-chief. I am aware that it was his sister’s influence that allowed us to reap that day and reminded me of John 4:38, “I sent you to reap that for which you have not labored; others have labored and you have entered into their labor.” We followed up with him that next Tuesday and truly, he was like a different person and so full of joy! He talked as much as we did asking and answering questions. It was so sweet to behold and I know that Augustino will follow-up with him for discipleship. May the Spirit continue to blow on the embers of his heart. Praise to the Father to allow us the privilege to be a part of His work!

Goin' to Ghana

2010-11-29T21:14:00.006+02:00

The second part of our orientation was the rural portion held in Northern Ghana. As we headed down to Ghana, one of the girls, Becky, sung this tune because her sister and sung it in high school choir and it was a little catchy:

Hey, do you want to go
On down to Ghana?
Hey, do you want to come
a-long, my brother?
Hey, do you want to go
on down to Ghana?
And as we travel we’ll
sing this happy song

I liked Ghana because it was a little (just a little, mind you) cooler and it was just a slower pace, like most rural areas usually are. The rural areas are usually characterized by being more conservative/traditional than urban areas.

One of the first things we did when we were there was visit the chief of the village we were in and his title was the Nayuri (the guy in the very back). A lot of respect was given to this chief or any chief really. There were certain greetings specifically for chiefs (kneeling down and for women clapping your hands like you’re snapping- that doesn’t make sense, but just go with me on this one :)) as a sign of respect. Here we are meeting with the Nayuri.

I had another amazing translator, Augustino (this is the shirt we gave him on the last day). I was a little leery about having a guy, but I ended up being in a group of 4 other women, so it wasn’t bad at all. In fact Augustino had such a vivacious attitude and his passion was contagious. I could tell that he was well respected in the community as well. Augustino loved, loved, LOVED singing, and so we sang everywhere we went as we did our DFA’s. I learned 2 new songs, “Who is Like Unto Thee, O Lord” and “Good Morning Jesus.”

This is Augustino's "napping area". One would find these all over the place in Ghana. It takes about a year to make one of these things, because of the making of the roof. It is quite considerably cooler under there and you can take whatever you can in the heat!

Here is all of my group with Augustino!

Here are women getting water from a well

Michal and I in our African dresses made in Burkina!

Sitting under a tree- African-style!

One of the optional outings we did is go to the escarpment about 45 minutes out of town. Here is the picture of the bus we “rented.” Thankfully Cherry, our nurse who had grown up in northern Ghana also drove her truck because the roads were really bad and this bus broke down twice before we decided to all load up in Cherry’s truck while the bus driver “repairs” the bus. It was so funny because there was a bumper sticker on the inside of the bus that said “God is in control.” I just laughed and said that “if I didn’t believe in the sovereignty of God, then I would’ve never gotten on/in that bus!”

We ended up getting to the escarpment and hiked up to the escarpment (and had a whole new appreciation for the word “trailblazing”!) and of course it was beautiful!

Here is Michal and I- of course, the picture never does the actual thing justice!

A Secret Willing To Be Shared

2010-11-28T17:53:00.007+02:00

Have you seen the face of contentment? Someone who is just glad to be alive and truly sees each day as a gift? One who can honestly say with Paul, “Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am.” It is rare indeed to find someone that fits that description, but I had the joy of meeting such a person in Ouaga.

Meet Bartaba. One of our DFA’s (Daily Field Assignments) was to talk with someone that has recently lost a loved one. Unfortunately, in Africa, one doesn’t have to look very far to find a person that fits that description due to AIDS, poverty, malaria and a host of other things that contribute to the death rate in Africa. I actually met Bartaba the first day that Colompare and I went to Colompare’s village. Bartaba was so kind and generous, giving me peanuts from her garden. So I sat down with her that day to hear her story.
I knew that Bartaba was a believer, because of the joy she possessed and I told her that her joy was evident. She had been a Christian for over 27 years, even though her husband was a M*slim. Her husband had gotten sick randomly one day and two days later, he was gone. Colompare then interjected and shared her side of the story about how she got woken up at 5am to hear the sad news of Bartaba’s husband (Colompare is a neighbor to Bartaba). Her husband’s family then came and carried out all the M*slim’s traditions when someone dies.
Now that her husband is gone, she has little to live off of, but that does not deter her from interceding to our Lord. Colompare says that she and Bartaba frequently prays together and that they both look forward to doing it time and time again. It is customary to bring a gift to offer our condolences, so we brought a kilo of rice and money that amounted to 5 USD. When I gave it to her, Bartaba did the most beautiful thing: she lifted the gift up as a praise offering and thanked the Lord. How could I not tear up? She has nothing, but Jesus is all she needs. Bartaba knows a secret and she’s willing to share as she lives her life. She is a beautiful daughter of the King and I was humbled to be in presence of a giant of that faith that day, because she knows and believes that “my God shall supply all your needs according to His riches in Christ Jesus.”

As I left, I was reminded of the Caedmon’s Call song “All I Need”:

Did not catch her name
Did not catch her tears
It hit me like a train
When her story hit my ears
Mother of eight sons
Father off to war
Got no home address
Just bricks on a dirt floor
Jesus is all I need

Tiny plot of land
Corn stored up in piles
Years it doesn't rain
They just stay hungry for a while
No fatted calf to kill
She made a feast of cuy and corn
She said, "Who else knew my name
Before the day that I was born?
Jesus is all I need
Jesus is all I need."
This world calls me poor
I bore my babies on this floor
He always provides
Sure as the sun will rise.
So I'll sing Him songs of praise
'Cause I know He'll keep me in His gaze."

Rain poured from the sky
We raced back to the van
There were tears in the eyes
Of this poor, forgetful man
Mother of eight sons
She knows the peace of God
Lord, help me learn to lean
On thy staff and thy rod
Jesus is all I need
Jesus is all I need

40/40 In Ouagadougou, Burkina Faso

2010-11-27T13:15:00.007+02:00

So I will admit it. I have been putting off these posts. Not because I don’t want to keep the community that I love informed, it’s just that the thought of trying to put in words what took place the last month is well…daunting. But I’m going to try my best to do several posts of my experience throughout my time in West Africa. I will start off by saying that it is good to be back in Jo’burg, but the people that I met along the way in West Africa were some of the most beautiful people. Was it challenging? Yes. Was it rewarding? Yes. Frustrating, yet hopeful? Discouraging, yet encouraging? Irritating, yet joyous? Yes, yes, yes… Alright, let’s begin…
The main objective of going to training in West Africa in the first place was three-fold:

1. An appreciation for Africans
2. A real dedication to learn about Africa from Africans
3. The tools with which to do just that among their target people groups.

Our first 2 weeks were based out of Ouagadougou, Burkina Faso. This was the urban part of our orientation. Nothing could’ve prepared me of the airport that awaited me in Ouaga. I truly wished that I took pictures, but in the shock of it all, I didn’t think about it. My first tip off should’ve been when it took the pilot 15 minutes to park the plane because so many people running around the airstrip. Then we got on a bus to take us 50 yards to our drop-off. The airport was in “renovations” and so the “arrival terminal” consisted of plywood walls and counters with a little light beside each of the immigration counters. Then there was no conveyor belt, so the trailers that you would normally see from the plane to get the cargo- yep, they just drove it right in. I’m telling you, it was so hilarious as I laughed in disbelief. There is a phrase that I quickly learned: TIA, which means, “This is Africa”. At anytime you can say TIA and it sums up your thoughts exactly.

Every day in the afternoons we would have lectures. During our stay in Ouaga, we had Yacouba, an African from Niger, come to teach us a lot on the way Africans (and particularly Muslims). Yacouba has an amazing testimony where he grew up Muslim and he came and lived in the United States for a time and was a manager at a Walmart in Garden City, Kansas (of all places!). So, not only does he know about Africa, but he can also relate to how Americans think too, which was invaluable. And one night he had a vision he had of Jesus and the next day a pastor(that Yacouba didn’t know) walked up to him and invited him over to his house and then shared about Christ, which Yacouba then readily accepted. Two big take aways I have from Yacouba’s testimony: when you have a true encounter with Christ, you’ll never be the same and the obedience and willingness to be led by the Spirit on the part of that pastor is remarkable! I hope and pray that I would be sensitive to the Spirit to be led in that way in my everyday life.

Each day we went out with our translator to do what was called Daily Field Assignments or DFA’s. DFA’s consisted of observation, learning simple greetings in the language, understanding their culture and why things are the way they are, etc. I enjoyed doing these because it gave me opportunity over the course of the days to get more and more comfortable about using every day conversations and transitioning to spiritual things. I had amazing translators, both in Ouagadougou and in Nalerigu, Ghana. In Ouaga, I had the opportunity to have my very own translator! I didn’t know how I got so lucky, because most of the others had 2 Americans to every national translator. It did force me to be bold because I was the one calling the shots. Colompare was my translator’s name. She is 32 and has been married for 8 years and has 3 very handsome boys. She has a real heart for her village and knows the people very well. She has a heart of an evangelist and is also quick to point to Christ.

Here is a traditional favorite meal in Burkina Faso: Tou (sp?) I believe that is is made with millet - a type of corn. It reminded of what cream of wheat tastes like when it congeals in a bowl after cooling off. :)

It” just so happened” that all of her 3 sons, El Shaddai, Solomon and Jonathan, had birthdays in October while I was there, so on the last day I had with Colompare, we went to her house and had lunch and a birthday celebration with friends and family. How perfect is that?! I was in heavenly bliss! He gives and He gives and He gives and allows me yet another opportunity to make birthdays a BIG DEAL.

Here is a pic with all of the translators on our last day with them. What a great group!

Kristin and I roomed together in Ouaga and we had the toughest time opening and closing our door. I mean really, it was next to impossible. So here we are with our nemesis, the unmanageable door!

About to Take a Leave of Absence

2010-10-19T11:41:00.003+02:00

Tomorrow I am taking a leave of absence for a month to head out to West Africa with friends from my orientation group to do hands on training. Truly it will be an experience of a lifetime as we learn and go into villages of Burkina Faso and Ghana to put to practice what is learned and sharing the Good News to anyone who will listen, and if the language is a barrier, we'll shine with Christ's love! :) I will miss the blogging world, but I will ask a few things to pray on my behalf while I am away:

Some requests to be lifting up:
- Rest and rejoice in the knowledge that God will reign over the next month in my life. He has wonderful purposes in store for me. The new experiences in 40/40 are a part of those purposes.
- One of the greatest challenges I will face in 40/40 is finding time to have a quiet time with the Father in addition to all the other things you will be doing. It might require rising before others, being intentional, and being disciplined.
- Preparation is the key to a successful “M” career, term, or even task. Ask that I would commit myself to make the most of my 4040 experience and let the Father do what He wants to do in your life in the “here and now, today.”
- There will be challenges, but there will also be tremendous blessings and rewards. 40/40 is not nearly as tough as I am thinking it will be, but no matter what, it will never be as tough as the life led by the people I am coming to Africa to work and identify with. Ask for me to be willing to be flexible, patient and faithful.
- The events of 40/40 are designed as many tasks, to challenge, encourage, instruct, humble, and enrich. Yet all have one purpose, to bless and prepare. So pray that I’ll attack them with joy, since ultimately all events are tools in the hands our generous and wise Father. As I face the frustrations that come with life in Africa, think about the grace and patience of the Father and ask Him to manifest that grace and patience in me during my 4040 experience.

- Ask the Father to give me grace as I will have little or no contact with the outside world. It is already a challenge to have limited contact with my loved ones and transitioning to a new country, so it has honestly been a little rough to think that I won’t have access to them to share in the hardest points of 40/40. Ask the Father to prompt my heart to turn to Him in my time of need, because His grace is more than sufficient for me!

- For safety and health! Not being used to the food it is always interesting on our digestive tracts!;)Pray that we’ll adjust quickly!

- Ask for many opportunities to share about the Father’s work to the people that we’ll interact with

- Plead with the Father for our group (around 15-20 people) will be unified and not create any dissension

To get an overview of what goes on day to day, check out http://www.africa4040.blogspot.com/. This was done by a previous group, but it will give you an idea of what the day to day might look like. I know these are a lot of requests, but I will be gone a long time, so wanted to be sure y’all had plenty so as not to get bored. ;) Thank you in advance for lifting me up and be prepared to see a lot of pictures and commentary on my blog when I return!

Caring Love

2010-10-18T14:30:00.002+02:00

Yesterday was a challenging day for me. I tried to skype with my family, but it didn't work. I almost got in a wreck (and I know without a doubt that it was God who was protecting me and Kristin, who was also in the car). I probably was experiencing the first of cultural shock and just knew I needed an extra dose of time with the Lord. So when I did, of course it was such a balm to my soul. I got some good time in the Word and then also I read from The Valley of Vision, which is a collection of Puritan prayers. I didn't grow up doing liturgy, but I did it in my church in Tyler, Sylvania Church, and fell in love with the prayers of old and I have come to pray many of these prayers in this book. Below is one of the prayers that soothed my soul. I pray it does the same for you!

Caring Love

All sufficient King,

When I come into Thy presence I see the glory of Thy perfections, the throne of eternal and universal empire, the ten thousand times ten thousand who minister to Thee.

Impress my mind with the consciousness of Thy greatness, not to drive me from Thee but to inspire me to approach Thee; not to diminish my confidence in Thee, but lead me to admire Thy great condescension.

Thou hast been mindful to me and visited me, taken charge of me from birth, cared in all conditions for me, fed me at Thy table, drawn the curtains of love around me, given me new mercies every morning.

Suffer me not to forget that I look for yet greater blessing- a hope beyond the grace, the earnest and foretastes of immortality, holiness, wisdom, strength, peace, joy; all these Thou hast provided for me in Christ.

I grieve to think how insensible I have been of the claims of Thy authority and the endearments of Thy love; how little I have credited Thy truth, trusted Thy promises, feared Thy threats, obeyed Thy commands, improved my advantages, welcomed Thy warnings, responded to Thy grace; but notwithstanding my desert I yet live.

May Thy goodness always lead me to repentance, and Thy longsuffering prove my salvation.

My Cup Overflows

2010-10-18T13:55:00.003+02:00

Saturday night was my first opportunity to have people come over to my flat for dinner. Some of the people that were at my orientation flew into Jo’burg to stay at the my guest house until orientation (I know that sounds confusing to say orientation twice- the first orientation was done in the states and the one we’re about to go to will be in West Africa, but more on that later). They will eventually be serving in Mozambique, but they can’t obtain visas until after our orientation in West Africa, so they are here in Jo’burg until we leave next Wednesday to get over jet lag. So, I decided to have them over so that they could get a home cooked meal. As far as to what to make, I thought it was best to stick with what I know, so I chose a classic menu (for me, at least): King Ranch Chicken, salad, rolls, and peanut butter squares for dessert. The interesting part was getting the ingredients for the meal. If I were in the states it would be a no brainer, but I had to put a little more thought in it because they don’t have exactly the same things as they do in the states. If they do (like campbell’s soup for instance), then it cost a ridiculous amount, like $7 for a can of soup because it was imported in. No thank you! So I did the dry soup mix and just added water for the soup mixture. And the powdered sugar was called snow icing sugar in a blue and white box and not with the rest of the sugar, so I definitely had to phone a friend after searching for it for 5 minutes. There were a few other variations, but all in all everything turned out great, even if it slightly had a different taste than “normal,” though I was the only one who knew the difference.
Here is the picture that I love to behold:

A roomful of people in my home- enjoying each other’s company, eating a good meal and talking about the things of God=my cup overflows!
This is also the first time I got to use my platter that my roomies in Tyler and the Lantz’s gave me at my going away party! It is so beautiful and isn’t fitting to have my famous peanut butter bars on them?!

“It is easily forgotten that the fellowship of Christian brethren is a gift of grace, a gift of the Kingdom of God that any day may be taken from us, that the time that still separates from utter loneliness may be brief indeed. Therefore, let him who until now has had the privilege of living a common Christian life with other Christians praise God’s grace from the bottom of his heart. Let him thank God on his knees and declare: It is grace, nothing but grace, that we are allowed to live in community with Christian brethren.” Dietrich Bonhoeffer in Life Together

His Patience and What Sort of People We Ought to Be

2010-10-15T14:37:00.002+02:00

2 Peter is where I have found one of my themes in my life: Twice it mentions stirring a person up as a way of reminder. I am in the ministry of reminding (others and myself) truths that we already know and may have forgotten. Remember, remember, remember!! Don’t be like the Israelites that forgot what happened a few days before. It always got them in trouble and it does the same for us too.

The last chapter of 2 Peter speaks of the patience of the Lord: “The Lord is not slow about His promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing for any to perish but for all to come to repentance (vs 9).” So many times I in my pompous way of thought think “God, I’m so glad that you’re patient towards them because they sure need it! And when I think that arrogantly, that is the VERY reason why He is patient towards me, because clearly I haven’t gotten a clue how much I need the Lord’s patience. On the other side of the pendulum, I think, “I blew it for the last time. There is no way that the Lord is going to forgive this repeated offense again.” I view God’s forgiveness and love as conditional and thus live out of fear and performance-driven. I’ve always wondered in description of love in 1 Corinthians 13 begins with “Love is patient…” Why is that there and why do I need to know? I think it might be possible that it all begins with patience because you can’t be kind, not jealous or bragging or arrogant, not unbecoming, unselfish, not provoked or take account of wrong, but rather rejoicing truth, bears all things, believes all things endures all things in there is not patience behind it all.

Ok, that was a tangent- back to 2 Peter 3…it then it talks about the new heavens and the new earth and having that all of the earth destroyed by intense heat and since we know this, are aware of this demands action and define what sort of people ought you to be: holy conduct, godliness and looking for and hastening day of the Lord (vs 10-12). Being urgent to tell! I confess most days, I don’t spend most my days like that and don’t lose much sleep- but I need to! I need to have such an urgency to tell that I won’t rest until all of Jo’burg, then all of South Africa, and then the whole continent of Africa and until the ends of the earth knows of this inevitable day. I want Jesus to come back and hasten His return. And I am learning as a sent out one with each passing day in the comings and goings of Africa that people are dying without knowing the redemption of Christ. And the only way that I’ll be able to accomplish that is to be diligent to be found by Him in peace, spotless and blameless and regard the patience of my Lord to be salvation(vs14-15a) My deliverance, preservation and salvation. And check out what is happening in Revelation 7:9-10: “I looked, and behold, a great multitude which no one could count, from every nation and all tribes and peoples and tongues, standing before the throne and before the Lamb, clothed in white robes, and palm branches were in their hands; and they cry out with a loud voice, saying, "Salvation to our God who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb." I can’t but tear up every time I read those verses.The Lord Himself suffers long to bring about His salvation rather than to hasty anger or punishment. I am undone because I am too many times self absorbed to imitate His character towards others. Disturb me, Lord.

At the end of the chapter Peter warns to be on the guard for people that wishes to direct you in the way of error and fall away from the steadfastness (vs 17). Am I even steadfast? Only by God’s grace can I be! So how do you do that? The answer is found in the next verse: by growing in the grace and knowledge of the Lord and Savior Jesus (vs 18). So by knowing the truth, it will set us free (John 8:32) and pleading with the Lord to sanctify us in truth because His Word is truth (John 17:17) all undergirded by the marvelous grace, the grace that has pardoned and cleansed my sins. I random hymn that popped in my head tonight is “I love to tell the story”: “I love to tell the story, 'twill be my theme in glory, to tell the old, old story of Jesus and His love.”

In summary, we need to remind ourselves over and over again of the patience of the Lord to be salvation and that knowledge demands a response and that response should be that of action and to know, as Dallas Willard states “Christ is really out in the world where we have not yet had the courage to follow Him fully.” And that might very well not be in Africa for you, but He has called us to be obedient in big things, small things, all things! Willard also wrote “Obedience would be the sign of love, as love was the sign of discipleship. Not because obedience produces love or even proves it. We know that it does not. And Jesus is not- in that all too human manner- trying to “corner” us into doing what he says by saying “If you loved me you would do as I please!” Instead He is teaching that obedience and love go together because love alone stays to find a way to obey.”

Driver's Ed. All Over Again

2010-10-12T13:17:00.003+02:00

Meet Cricket, my new car while I’m in Jo’burg! I named my Corolla Cricket because if you have the air conditioning on a certain setting, it will creek like the sound of a cricket. Besides, I think Cricket is fun pet name. But Cricket is not any car- she is a car that is meant to drive on the other side of the road and is a stick- shift. Up until a few days ago, I had only driven a stick shift once and have never driven the British way. To say that I was terrified was an understatement. It brought me back to driver’s ed. Program to get my learner’s permit at the age of 15. Walk with me down memory lane:

For about 6 weeks, my best friend, Sarah Pate, was taken by her grandfather to driver’s ed. every afternoon. To endure the torture of lecture, VHS’ on driving and the torment of practicing what we had learned. I was terrified getting behind the wheel. My twin brother, Cory, wanted to drive any chance that he got, so I gladly let him. And forget driving at night- only crazy people do that. There were a certain number of hours that you had to drive with the instructor and it wasn’t fair because he could put the brakes on the car at any time if he didn’t think you would in time. I barely passed the driver’s portion just because I didn’t want the risk of it all. But through the persistent nudging of my mom, I did get out on the road, and I did and was successful. And while my brother-in-law, Andrew feared for his life anytime he was in the same vehicle as me (reluctantly so), I did improve and get better in it to where it became second nature (even though I still cannot do it in my sleep- thankfully).

So fast forward to last Saturday and, well, it wasn’t quite as bad as my first attempts at driving. Granted it was on the other side of the road, so everything besides the footing of the clutch, brake and gas pedal, is completely flip-flopped. I practiced for a few hours this past spring with my friend, Grant, and he was a great teacher and encourager (that was a biggie!) and even drove to the Tyler airport. It was a lot easier learning something new since I had the rest of the mechanics down after driving nearly 13 years. So with the little bit of experience of driving a stick shift helped. Stan, my supervisor, went with me and was also very patient and encouraging and never got flustered (or he fooled me if he did!), though I have stalled my share of times, have tried to turn into oncoming traffic and stay too close to the edge of the road instead the middle of the lane. So I “practiced” driving on Saturday and Sunday afternoon, as well as this Monday morning. Monday afternoon he handed over the keys to me and asked if I thought I was ready to have a go by myself. My reply was “Only if you think I am!” There is one catch that he put on my car to let other drivers be “made aware”:

Do you see the “L” on the back of Cricket? It DOES NOT stand for “Loser” (which was my first mortified thought); rather it stands for “Learner” (wa wa wa). Still not thrilled with having that on the back of my car because a) it brings back flashes of having people honking, mocking you as being a student driver because everyone knows due to the huge sign on the car to identify them and b) it takes a punch to the gut of my pride, that well, needs to go anyway… so I guess bring it on for me being the comedy relief to my little suburb, Evendale, of Jo’burg, so long as no one gets hurt! I will tell you that I arrived safely home, even in 5 o’clock traffic! So, it is my hope that I will continue to get better with each passing day, and take that “L” off my car as soon as possible and the struggles of driving on the other side of the road with a stick shift would only be a distant memory. Oh the joys of learning a new culture- the first of many, I assure you!

Welcome to my Flat and Guest House!

2010-10-09T17:32:00.007+02:00

Welcome! Since most of you can't "stop by" to see my new flat, I thought I would give you a tour by way of pictures. I love my new apartment. I feel very safe because you have to go through 2 guardrails to even get to my apartment. And if anyone comes to visit or come pick me up, the guard rings me to make sure I was expecting someone. It's been a little awkward when I try to converse with them over the tele because I'm sure if I understand what they are saying or vice versa and they're speaking English! There is no air conditioning, but it's not a problem, even though we are at the beginning of summer because there is a) no humidity and b) is cool at night once the sun goes down. It is when it gets cold for the winter that will be interesting! The apartment complex thus far has been quiet, so that helps since I sleep with the windows open. I look forward to meeting my neighbors.

Ok, here is my bedroom. I feel spoiled to have a queen-sized! You can barely see it but on the right are 2 closets that you can shut with 2 sets of double white doors and in one of them it has shelves in them, so since I don't have a dresser, that is where I put all my folded clothes and then the other closet has the hanging clothes and a place to put my shoes.

This is the bathroom that is in my bedroom with a sink, toilet and bathtub.

This is the hallway bathroom with sink toilet and shower. Pretty fancy for little ole me!

This is another room that has a desk, bookcase and then another set of double doors for closet space. This is where I put my winter clothes at for the time being.

This is my guest bedroom, so know that you have a space at my flat waiting for you anytime (and if not that, at my guesthouse!)

This is my living room. It is nice and cozy. I haven't hooked up the tv to my dvd player yet, but I anxiously await to have this place filled up with people and good food! There is a little table on the left.

And this is an open kitchen that has a fridge, freezer, microwave, stove, oven, coffeemaker and tea maker, along with my washer and dryer. A lot of the utensils are provided. Notice I don't have a dishwasher, BUT I do have hot water (which I didn't think I was going to get) so I will take hot water over washing dishes by hand ANY day! And with me being the only person living there I will only have to wash my own dishes and not able to blame anyone else. :)

And this is my little porch that I have outside of my back door. I know I'll enjoy reading and sun-bathing from here!

Now on to the guest house...

This is the courtyard, if you will, for the guest house premises. Beautiful flowers make everything so happy! There are 19 rooms available and right now all of them are booked (we have 5 pregnant ladies that have just arrived within the last few days that will be delivering within the next 6 weeks, as well as a conference going on)

Here is another picture of more pretty flowers! :)

This is the Guest House Office that I will be officing in. I share this office with my two supervisors, Stan & Nancy Dickard. All I've been told about Stan and Nancy is how wonderful they are and now I can see them in action! I found out that Stan and Nancy will be going stateside in July for seven months and I will be running everything by myself. Whoa!! But at least they're not leaving next week! :) Hopefully by then I will have a grasp on everything. It's still daunting, but as my friend, Grace, reminded me that God already knew this and He's prepared me with what He has prepared me for, so I can rest in that! And I know that Stan & Nancy will do an awesome job equipping me.

This is in my office called the "Tuck Shop." It is where the guests can come and buy some goodies where they might not get elsewhere. It might taste a little different from the states, but it is at least something similar.

And here is the stash of drinks. Do you see the Dr Peppers- sweet nectar! I have to admit that I have already broken down and had one since I've been here. :)

I also went driving for the first time, and much to my relief it wasn't so bad! Stan went with me and was a great help and encouraged me a lot. I definitely have room for improvement, but it was a good first go around and I can only hope that it will only get better from here!

Before I sign off, let me share with you a verse that I have been meditating on and pray that you will pray this along with/for me:

"for a wide door for effective service has opened to me.." 1 Cor 16:9

Please pray that I would be sensitive to the Lord's leading about what things to get involved in- I want to be about His work! The temptation I think will be for to get settled here and do what I'm comfortable with and not do things that stretches me, namely proclaiming the gospel. May He continue to give me an urgency to be a part of His kingdom's work and a part of the equation where heaven's gate swings wide!!!

I'm Here!!!

2010-10-07T14:21:00.003+02:00

Wanted to write a short little post to let everyone know that I made it safe and sound! I love my apartment and getting settled in. It has a security guard and a gated community (that's for my parents! ;) ). I am anxious to send pictures to show you my flat. :) I also have met a lot of people that work at the support center and also some of the people that serve in West Africa that are having a conference here currently (also my stateside liaison's, the Wombles, are here from orientation, so it was great to see them on the other side of the pond. I'm trusting my knack for remembering names to kick in. I've enjoyed getting to know my supervisors, Stan and Nancy and the jet lag hasn't been to bad so far. I will start learning how to drive on the other side of the road, not to mention with a stick shift, so be lifting that up when you think of it. I know once I get it, I'll know it for good- it's the getting there that is hard part. I'm loving it here so far and can't wait to get immersed in it all and take ownership. Thanks for being along for the journey! I'll update soon, Lord willing!

Spinning around on the tip of a baseball bat

2010-10-04T16:51:00.003+02:00

Do you remember when you were younger and you did relay races and one of the things you had to do was spin around on the tip baseball bat like 10 times and then continue on with the race, but you're all off balance (I'm now remembering the last time I did that was in El Salvador- it was pretty funny and proved the point why you should only do it if you're younger!)? I would always do a forward roll after doing that so as to somehow get my equilibrium back on balance more quickly (or so I thought). Well, that feeling of spinning around like that is how I felt after my going away reception. It was the last of 3-4 days of big goodbyes and I was pretty much spent. Even though on the Myers- Briggs scale I could go either way on the extrovert-introvert scale, I definitely wanted to retreat and get some alone time, though at the same time LOVED being around the people that I adore. I was overwhelmed(in the best kind of way) by the family, friends and church members that stopped by (some that came 3 and a half hours away "Stopped by") to show their love and support and wish me well. While a lot of people were taking pictures that day, here are a few that I took with my camera (I'm sure I'll post others later):

Jessica and Neal came from out of town! Jess was one of my roomies last year and I unfortunately missed out on their awesome wedding because I was in Virginia doing orientation. It was so special for them to come and share details about the wedding. It really spoke volumes to me that they would come from Dallas to see me off!

And even though I just saw Lori and Emils a couple of days ago, they came again, which meant so much!! I'm a pretty lucky girl to have these twins in my life! Us twins have to stick together! ;)

Here I am with John & Lori! I had the privilege of standing beside them on their wedding almost 2 years ago and now they are standing beside me as I take this giant step of faith to South Africa

Mandi came from Austin, which once again, meant so much! I did not get to talk nearly long enough with Mandiessel, but we sort of got to in July. Her presence there spoke volumes and I am grateful for her life and am excited to continue our friendship even on the other side of the pond!

Claire and Josh Berger were able to make it too!!! Claire and Josh was another couple that got married in August that I didn't get to go to, so it was soo good to hug their necks and get an update in their lives! They are making big transitions too, so I was thankful to see them before I leave.

Here I am with Angie and Ains at the end of the reception. My whole family did so much to make the reception happen, and I know Angie was right in there making things happen. Once again so grateful for the support! I know I'll need it in the days to come!

Amelia

2010-10-04T06:53:00.003+02:00

Amelia is my 2001 green Honda Accord. I purchased her in August 2005. I finally got her paid off in August 2009. Because I will not have need of her while I am in South Africa, I gave it to Grace who has a great need of it- working 2 part time jobs and going to school! Can you tell from this pic above how excited I was to give Amelia to Grace?! Let me recount how this decision came to be so that God may be glorified:

Every week the Forge has a speaker that speaks to the students on Monday and Tuesday. Because I wasn't really a part of the Forge last year (at least not technically) I hadn't been to even one. It was in April that I had went to one because the Forge speaker was speaking on the topic of prayer, which of course, I wanted to hear all about. When I had walked in room, Grace's face lit up and I figured that she was just surprised to see me (which was partly true). After the session, I was talking to a lot of the students, until it dwindled down to me, Grace, Christina and Matt. I could tell that Grace was stalling and almost asked if everything was ok. Just as we were going downstairs to leave, Christina and Grace were in front of me and Christina whipped around and asked me what I was going to do with my while I was in South Africa. I casually mentioned that I most likely just leave it at my parents house so that they could maintain. Then Grace asked if I possibly needed someone to "babysit" it while I was gone. Then it finally hit and exclaimed, "Oh my goodness, Grace, do you need it?! I would LOVE to give it to you!!! Instantly there were no dry eyes in the room. Grace then goes on to explain how she had been praying for God to provide her a car since she was planning on living in Dallas to go to school and work (she is from Massachusetts). It had never even crossed my mind that I would ever be able to "give" my car away to anyone. The Lord gives and He gives and He gives!!!

I got to have some quality time with Tamara. She is going to DTS right now, but I always tell her that all throughout orientation she kept on coming to mind because I know part of her design is to do missions as well. We both know that DTS is where she needs to be for the time-being, but it is exciting to see where the Lord will lead in the years ahead to glorify Himself through her to the nations.

And here I am with Manders, Tamara and Grace! I am so grateful to know each one of these women and to see their obedience in big things, small things, all things!!

It was top priority that I make a visit to Sprinkles- the best cupcakes ever!! I might've gotten a dozen of them- but don't worry I shared them and didn't eat them all by myself, though I will tell you that I had no shame eating a cinnamon sugar cupcake for breakfast!

Mallory stopped by and even though I could give her only 20 minutes of my time, I was grateful to hug her neck. Look at her cute haircut that she chopped 8 inches off! What I love about Mally is that no matter what, she is able to be real and not be fake about what is going on in life and in school. So good to see you friend!!

Whirlwind of Goodbyes in Tyler

2010-10-03T06:03:00.006+02:00

This past Wednesday I headed for Tyler to get one last round of hugs before I fly out next Tuesday. I surprised myself by really not being emotional. I've decided that it either explains that a) I have transitioned in a healthy way and am ready to move on or b) I'm all dead inside or c) a mixture of the two. :) You decide! Before I made the trek, I got to hang out with some of my fam, my main objective of my remaining time in Texas:

Here I am with my twin, Cory, and sister-in-law, Kristin. They are also having major transitions themselves: they just moved out of their apartment and into Kristin's parents house so that they can buy a house within the next 6 months or so and save money in the process. Also, Kristin got a new job which she will start in a couple of weeks, so we got to celebrated with Freebirds!

Since I've been back in Texas, I have stayed with my sister and her family. I am trying to soak up every moment with them, because like I've said before, leaving them is going to be one of the hardest aspects of moving to South Africa. While the kids were in school Tuesday, Angie and I made a massive run to Sam's, Walmart and Target to get all the things I need to acquire to bring overseas with me. Anytime I would try to skimp on anything, Angie would say dramatically "But it's for TWO YEARS!!!" It became the running joke of the day, but in reality I will most likely be thanking her later for encouraging me to get more than I initially think I would because I'm sure I do, but have no frame of reference.

Back to going to Tyler: Pine Cove had Lake Day, an annual event to have an excuse to bless the staff and get the afternoon off by playing sports like ultimate or volleyball or go out on the boats. I was glad to go because I got to talk and hang out with more people than I would've been able to do otherwise. I loved the reactions that I got when I first got there. I arrived just in time for lunch, so I was just standing in line and a few people were like "Hi Suzanne" like I never had left and then realize that I actually have been gone and then was like "Oh my gosh, SUZANNE!!!" It happened a few times and I loved it every time!! That evening I made the decisive decision to go to Bruno's, the best pizza in town! Here's a rundown of pictures of the people I love:

EZ (Elizabeth) and Joanna- my former roomies!!

Beags- love to see and hear how the depth that is growing in your walk with Christ and investing in others!

Jake- I love the first thing Jake said when he saw me was "Hey, I like your braid! Is that an African tribal thing?" Oh, Jake, you do not disappoint!

Jenn- once again, we do not look alike, but don't be fooled, because we are the same person! Was very thankful to get some quality time with this woman of God that I adore!!

My roomies Jenn & Jenny (minus Jess, but you'll see Jess in an upcoming post!)

Jesse- I don't think I ever realized how much taller you are than me!

Micah- also another guy that never disappoints! Micah always has something witty to do or say!

Jenny- my other twin! I find it humorous that we both have out hair braided. We also are a lot alike and have even dressed exactly alike without even meaning to (it was a little creepy). Jenny gave me a journal with verses she had put in there that stood out to her the most while she was in the Forge. It meant a lot and I look forward to putting it to use in South Africa. Lord knows how much processing I will need to do!

Matt, Darcie & Heidi- I adore this family and I am grateful to have co-labored alongside them for the cause of Christ!

Chelsea just started working at PC this fall. I'm sad to not be there to live life on life, but regardless I am a big fan of her, largely due to the other people that I know that love her dearly and are raving fans of her.

Even though we were stuffed with Brunos, per my request we HAD to get Andy's custard because...well...it's the BEST custard around and I'm definitely going to miss its delicious-ness!

Lori & Emils- we stayed strong and didn't cry- at least this particular night...:)

Ally- another person I adore and am so proud to see how much of a discipleship's heart has grown within her in just the last 6 months. The Lord is going to use you mightily Ally!!

Shannon- a dear friend and previous boss: Usually those things don't coincide, but I am grateful that it does and have enjoyed our friendship over the last 6 years!

And this isn't even everyone that I saw on this day alone, so as you can see it definitely was a whirlwind of a day!!

End of orientation

2010-09-26T23:20:00.002+02:00

Because I can't sum up my time at orientation in words (sometimes words are so finite and just don't do justice), I thought I would use pictures instead! :) Enjoy!!

Create your own video slideshow at animoto.com.

Passport Drama

2010-09-25T03:57:00.005+02:00

Don't leave home without it. Or at least not the country. This time last week some drama (and honestly, I'm not one for drama, so I can definitely have done without). Let me recount the story:

Last Friday was our last shot clinic. While I was waiting to get my 4 shots, I got my face painted.

Who wouldn't be happy right? Well I went to my mailbox after I got my shots to see if I'd gotten any mail because a) I love getting mail and so I check it everyday, even when I'm not expecting anything (I will have to get used to not getting mail in S Africa) and b) I was expecting to receive my passport with a visa to Burkina Faso, that I needed to do my orientation training once I got Africa. I distinctively remember when I mailed off my passport in a certified envelope with also a certified return envelope, "What if I don't get this back?" When I checked my mailbox I had the certified return envelope, but with a note on it saying I needed to stop by the post office. When I turned the envelope over, the envelope was unsealed with no contents in it a.k.a. NO PASSPORT. You know how everything just stands still, yet at the same time my head was spinning and everything but fuzzy...but don't worry, I didn't faint. The first thought that came into my head was, "Suzanne, God is sovereign over even this." I am thankful to have the Holy Spirit living inside of me to remind me of that. So, I was trying to quickly think of what to do first, so I went to my friend Abbey and calmly and quietly told her that my passport was supposed to be in this unsealed envelope, but now is lost/stolen in the mail. She looked at me in disbelief and then asked if I wanted her to go with me to the post office. I said yes please. We didn't really talk on the way there. I went in and the clerk could offer no information as to where it could be, nor could explain to me the purpose of getting mail certified only for it not to come in one piece. He said that it would take 90 days to claim anything lost in the mail. I think this is when Abbey started reassuringly scratching my back. I understood that I didn't need to take my frustration on this clerk, because clearly it wasn't his fault for my stolen passport. We left and then drove home in silence. When we parked the car Abbey asked if she could pray with me, and I said "yes, because I'm about to lose it." And that's when the tears came. We got out of the car and I attempted to call the Burkina Faso's Embassy office, but it was 5 til 4 and they closed at 4, and no one was answering, so I knew I wasn't going to get anyone until Monday. I decided then and there, I did not want to worry about anything, but pray about everything, and yet wanted to be real with myself and allow myself to be frustrated and not be some "super christian" who was void of all emotion. I naturally got a lot of prayer support around campus, b/c everyone around me knew the seriousness of losing my passport. That was our gateway to get to our next step. I am so thankful for that community and getting a slew of words of encouragement and faithful pray-ers.

After getting permission from Elbert, the orientation director, Grace and I went headed to D.C. on Monday morning, because the only way to obtain a new passport when it was lost or stolen was to go to one of the regional office and the closest one was in D.C. I asked Elbert if Grace could come with me for support and he reluctantly agreed, though we would miss language learning (which neither of us would be doing) and the last session on living "purely single"- which I felt like that would be ok for us to miss. :) Grace graciously drove my car on the way up there so that I could make phone calls- to the travel agency and to the Burkina Faso Embassy. My friends Todd and Deborah offered us to use their Tom-Tom, which I was thankful for, so that we would not have to figure out how to get there, we just had to follow Arnold's instructions. :)

When we arrived to the passport office, Grace dropped me off since it was exactly 11:30, the time of my appointment. We waited for 45 minutes. I got a lot of sweet texts from people I had asked to pray. There was an Asian couple with a precious 22 month old boy named Peter and his mother said that he likes girls and started at first to flirt with Grace. THEN, he took a liking to me. He was so cute and cracking himself up and blowing kisses. I truly believe that God placed Peter there to get my mind off things and for my love for kids. It made the time pass by quickly. Then my number was called and things went almost effortlessly. So we left about 15 minutes later (after Peter blew more kisses my way) and we celebrated by going to a bakery for lunch.

After lunch we headed home and Arnold (the Tom Tom) took us on a scenic route, which delighted me because I don't like to go the same way I came and all the trees were so peaceful. Grace had a book of questions, so she would ask a question and we would both answer. I loved that reading some questions to herself, she said, "Oh I already know that answer!" We did find out that we love Wheel of Fortune and have vowed to try to get on the show together. We would make a mean team! ;)

So as of today, I received my passport in the mail (PTL!!) and I can wait to apply for my visa once I get to South Africa. I'm not totally sure why God allowed this ordeal to happen (though I am glad it happened to me and no one else), I do know that it is good to wait on the Lord and to continue to ask for more grace to trust Him more!